Gabrielle: "You can chase me all you want, but trust me, I'm way too fast for you."



She gets up and walks out of the restaurant. Bruno comes back with the check.



Victor: "Bruno...I'm gonna marry that girl."



MIKE'S HOUSE



Carlos and the woman from the online ad are kissing.



Carlos: "Can I just say something? You are way hotter than your online profile."



Woman: "So many guys say that."



Carlos: "Mmm."



Carlos hears a noise.



Woman: "What's wrong?"



He looks out the window and sees Travers bouncing his basketball outside.



Carlos: "Oh, my friend's kid is out there."



Woman: "Oh. Hey, I got an idea. Let's go upstairs. I should warn you... my therapist says I'm sexually compulsive. This could take hours."



Carlos: "Whatever your issues are, we will work them out together."



He still hears the noise from outside.



Carlos: "It's almost eleven. What is he doing out there by himself?"



Woman: "I'm sure his folks know he's out there. Now relax."



Carlos: "I'm so sorry. I will be right back. I promise."



He goes outside.



Carlos: "Hey, Travers, what are you doing out here? Where's your mom?"



Travers: "She had to go visit a sick friend."



Carlos: "Come on."



Inside the house...



Woman: "No way. I didn't come over here to babysit some little brat."



Carlos: "Shh. He can hear you."



Woman: "I don't care."



Carlos: "Look, his mother's bound to be home soon, all right? Then we can pick up where we left off."



Woman: "Forget it. I'm officially no longer in the mood."



The woman leaves. Travers comes over, eating ice cream.



Travers: "Sorry I ruined your date."



Carlos: "That's okay. She was a very bad lady who wanted to do very, very bad things to me."



Later that night, Edie gets out of a car in front of her house.



Edie: "Night, Raoul."



She walks up to her front door and sees a note on there that reads that Carlos has Travers. She goes over to Mike's and knocks on the door. Carlos answers.



Carlos: "Where the hell have you been?"



Edie: "Oh, I, uh...ducked out... just for an hour."



Carlos: "That's funny, 'cause I found Travers wandering the streets three hours ago."



Edie: "Look, he was fine when I left. I just didn't know he'd go outside."



Carlos: "Yeah, you never know what an eight year old's gonna do. That's why you supervise him."



Edie: "Hey, you don't get to judge me. You don't have a kid."



Carlos: "Well, if I did, I'd treat him a hell of a lot better than you do. And thank God he lives with his father. I mean, come on. What kind of mother are you?"



Edie: "If you are done lecturing me, I would like my son now."



Carlos: "He's asleep. Come and get him in the morning...when you're sober."



He closes the door.



The next morning, Edie goes back over to Mike's house and knocks on the door. Carlos stares at her for a few seconds, then calls up the stairs.



Carlos: "Hey, buddy! Your mom's here for ya."



Edie: "I know you think I'm a terrible person."



Carlos: "I never said that."



Edie: "Terrible mother, terrible person...it's the same thing. Because no matter what else she does, if a woman isn't a good mother, she's a failure, right? Look, um...when I had Travers, I, uh, I knew I was in over my head, and when Charles and I split, I...I gave him custody. Because I wanted my son to have the best life possible. And that doesn't make me a good mother, but...I like to think it makes me a realistic one."



Travers comes down the stairs.



Travers: "Hey, Mom."



Edie: "Hey, champ."



Travers: "I missed you."



Edie: "Oh, I missed you, too. Guess what? I've got so many fun things for you to do today."



Travers: "Cool."



Edie: "Yeah."



Travers: "Thanks for the ice cream."



Carlos: "My pleasure. I'll see you, little man. Hey. Travers said he's, uh, staying at least a month."



Edie: "Yeah."



Carlos: "So if you ever need a babysitter, just yell."



Edie: "I appreciate that. Hey! Wait for me!"



TOM'S PIZZARIA



Tom is on the phone.



Tom: "No, I don't want a viola player. I asked for a violinist. I don't even know what a viola is. Oh, it's just a big violin? Okay. Yeah, sure. Okay, I'll see you at eight."



Lynette comes up behind him.



Lynette: "What was that?"



Tom: "It's...just a little surprise, okay? Let it go."



Lynette: "Let it go...that's cute. Start talking'."



Tom: "I planned a little something for our anniversary. That is all I'm gonna say."



Lynette: "Okay. Okay. Okay. If we're doing this, I need to buy you something. What do you want?"



Tom: "You don't have to buy me anything."



Lynette: "Well, you didn't have to plan anything, but you did, even though we had an agreement. You like ties? You're getting a tie."



Tom: "What are you getting so upset about?"



Lynette: "I have been dragging my ass all day, and the only thought that's kept me going is the hot bath, and now I have do my hair and shave my legs."



Tom: "So what do you want to do, Lynette? Just tell me what you want."



Lynette: "I told you what I want. Hot bath, bed early, but you chose not to listen."



Tom: "Well, okay, I guess I can just cancel the whole thing. You can have your dream evening alone, and I'll get up a poker game or something."



Lynette: "Thank you."



Tom: "Hey. You know what? I've been dragging my ass all day, too, and you know what got me through it? The idea of doing something special with you. Happy anniversary."



BREE'S HOUSE



Danielle and Andrew are sitting on the couch. Orson comes downstairs with luggage.



Orson: "All right. I'm off to join your mother. The hotel number's on the fridge in case there's a problem. Bree said her cell phone isn't getting good reception."



Andrew: "Uh, actually, we...we kinda already have a problem."



Orson: "Well, I'm already late for my flight. Can this wait a few weeks till we're back?"



Andrew: "Yeah, this could wait a few weeks."



Orson: "Oh, good."



Andrew: "I mean, heck, this particular problem could wait...nine months."



Orson: "Good Lord."



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette comes into the kitchen, wrapped in her bathrobe. Mrs. McCluskey is playing cards with the kids.



Mrs. McCluskey: "How was your bath?"



Lynette: "Oh, I couldn't relax. I just kept replaying the fight I had with Tom in my head."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, at least your husband tries to be romantic. Every anniversary, Gilbert bought me an appliance. The last one, he gave me a vacuumcleaner. He died two weeks later. I didn't cry."



Lynette: "Wow."



The doorbell rings.



Lynette: "Who could that be? Here."



BREE'S HOUSE



Austin is sitting on the couch while Andrew and Danielle occupy the chairs opposite the couch. Orson stands.



Orson: "All right. Here's what we're thinking. Clearly, the idea of the two of you getting married is ridiculous."



Austin: "So what do you want me to do?"



Orson: "Glad you asked. Bree and I have decided that Danielle will join us on our honeymoon. When we return, we'll tell our friends she's decided to study abroad. Once the baby is born and adopted by a suitable family, she'll come home."



Austin: "What about me?"



Orson: "You leave."



Austin: "Leave?"



Orson: "Get out of Fairview and don't tell a soul why, not even your aunt."



Austin: "I can't do that."



Orson: "Why not?"



Austin: "Because I've got responsibilities here. People are counting on me."



Orson: "Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before you impregnated my stepdaughter."



Austin: "I said I'm not leaving!"



Andrew: "Oh, easy there, turbo. Uh...we'll be right back."



Andrew and Austin go into the kitchen.



Andrew: "So who exactly is counting on you? Hmm? Julie Mayer, maybe?"



Austin: "She gave me another chance. I can't leave if I've still got a shot with her."



Andrew: "And what's gonna happen when Julie finds out you knocked up my sister?"



Austin: "Didn't your stepdad just say no one's gonna find out about that?"



Andrew: "Okay. Try this. Julie's a nice girl, and you, well...you're a dog. No knock. I'm a dog lover myself, but Julie deserves better. You know you'll just end up cheating on her."



Austin: "No, I won't hurt her again."



Andrew: "Sure you will. Not right away. Maybe you'll hold out for six months, but then it'll hurt her even more. Am I wrong? You just have to ask yourself if you can be the kind of guy she needs you to be. If you can't...walk away."



TOM'S PIZZARIA



Tom, Carlos, and Orson are setting up the poker game.



Tom: "Beer is on the house, guys. Drink fast, get stupid, lose money."



Mike comes in.



Tom: "Mike!"



Mike: "Hey."



Tom: "How's it going, buddy? Hey, you know, uh, Orson, right?"



Mike: "Oh, yeah."



Orson: "Hey, neighbor."



Tom: "Hey, so let's get started, huh? Five-card stud? Two dollar ante?"



Ian comes in.



Ian: "Good evening, gentlemen."



Tom: "Ian!"



Mike: "Hey... Ian."



Ian: "Nice to see you, Mike."



Carlos: "What is fish-and-chips doing here?"



Tom: "Susan asked me to include him. Said he always wanted to learn how to play poker. So we're going to give him some very expensive lessons."



Mike: "Be careful. He already knows how to bluff."



OUTSIDE SUSAN'S HOUSE



Julie is going from her car to the house when Austin comes up.



Austin: "Hey."



Julie: "Hey. How's it going?"



Austin: "Good. Good, uh...just wanted to tell you, I have to leave town for a while."



Julie: "Really? Is something wrong?"



Austin: "No, no, no. It's just family stuff. I don't know exactly when I'll be back. It could be a while, though."



Julie: "Oh. Okay."



Austin: "I just want you to know that...it means a lot that you were willing to give me a second chance. You're, like, the only person that's ever done that."



Julie: "Austin...what's going on?"



Austin: "Nothing, uh, it's just...I have to go. Good-bye, Julie."



Julie: "Austin!"



He stops and she runs up to him and kisses him.



TOM'S PIZZARIA



The men are playing poker.



Ian: "I'll raise you."



Tom: "Mm. Out."



Mike: "Ah, another courageous move for "foldilocks." All right. I'll call you. Flush, king high."



Ian: "Full house, sevenss and knaves."



Carlos: "Jacks. We call them jacks."



Mike: "Boy, this is your lucky room."



Orson: "Yes, I heard about your engagement the other night. Congratulations."



Mike: "Yeah, about that, Ian, was that, uh, proposal spontaneous, or did you have it all planned?"



Ian: "Oh, it was entirely planned. I thought it would be the ideal occasion."



Mike: "Wow. Well, if it was planned, why didn't you have a ring?"



Ian: "Well, I thought Susan might like to choose the ring herself."



Tom: "Ante up, boys."



Mike: "So why'd she pick a ring that was too big for her?"



Ian: "How did you know that?"



Tom: "Guys, guys, guys, guys, we came here to play cards. Why are we talking about jewelry?"



Mike: "Sorry, Tom, but I just found out I bought a ring for Susan myself. It was in my pocket that night some son of a bitch ran me over."



Orson: "Hey, Tom's right. We should focus on the game."



Mike: "After our talk, I called the hospital. They said my ring got in with your wife's stuff. So you saw it before I did...the same day you proposed to Susan."



Ian: "And your point is?"



Mike: "That that's why you were in such a big hurry. You wanted to seal the deal before I found out about the ring and told her."



Ian: "Do you think I'm afraid of you?"



Mike: "Maybe you should be. What do you think Susan would say if she found out why your proposal was so spontaneous?"



Tom: "Guys, can we just play?"



Ian: "I'm trying."



Mike: "Fine. Deal."



Tom's phone rings. He answers it.



Tom: "Hello?"



Lamar: "Mr. Scavo, it's Lamar from the limo service. Uh, I got a flat, so I might be late picking up you and your wife."



Tom: "What are you talking about? I-I-I canceled you."



Lamar: "No, you didn't."



Tom: "Yes, I did. I left you a message."



Lamar: "Oh, I must have missed it. Anyway, I dropped your wife off, right where you told me."



Tom: "Oh, God. When?"



Lamar: "About two hours ago."



Tom hangs up the phone and puts on his jacket.



Tom: "Guys, um, lock up when you're done."



He leaves.



Ian: "I'll open."



Orson: "I'm out."



Mike: "And I'll raise you."



Mike puts a stack of chips in the middle of the table.



Orson: "You want a beer?"



Carlos: "Hell, Tom's gone. Let's go open up the good stuff."



Orson and Carlos leave the table.



Ian: "Well...looks like it's just you and me, if you're still in."



Mike: "With this hand? You bet I am. I'll re-raise."



Ian: "And raise again."



Mike: "Your stack's looking kinda small."



Ian: "Will you take a check?"



He pulls out the check Mike had written him earlier and places it on top of the stack of chips in the middle of the table.



Mike: "You know I can't match that."



Ian: "How about this, then? You win, you keep the money, and you tell Susan whatever you want. I win, you keep your mouth shut about the ring, and you leave me and Susan alone."



Mike looks at his cards: three kings and two queens.



Mike: "Deal."



Later, a man walks up to Susan's doorway. She opens the door as he climbs the steps to her porch.



Susan: "How was the game?"



The man is Ian.



Ian: "I won."



They hug.



EMPTY ROAD - NIGHTTIME



Lynette is walking, shivering, down the empty road, wearing her fancy dress and holding roses. Tom pulls up next to her in his car.



Tom: "Lynette, I am so sorry. I am so sorry! You see, there was supposed to be a horse-drawn carriage and..."



She throws the flowers at him.



Tom: "Oh, good. You got the flowers."



She gets in the car.



DINER



Lynette and Tom enter the diner and sit at the counter. A waitress approaches.



Waitress: "Coffee?"



Tom: "Yes, please."



The waitress looks at Lynette.



Tom: "Yeah, she...she likes coffee, too. Thanks."



The waitress leaves.



Tom: "I'm really, really, really sorry."



Lynette: "Please stop apologizing."



Tom: "I'm s..."



Lynette: "I appreciate what you were trying to do. It was a lovely thought that just went hideously, hideously, hideously wrong."



Tom: "Wait till the kids find out that you saw a real coyote."



Lynette: "Hideously."



Tom: "Well, I learned my lesson. Never again. No more surprises. From now on, I'll do exactly what you say."



Their coffees arrive and they each wrap their hands around their respective mugs.



Lynette: "Oh, don't you dare."



Tom: "What?"



Lynette: "I had a lot of time to think tonight, and I realized you were right. We have to keep the romance going, no matter how tired we are. The only thing worse thaor just going through the motions is not bothering to go through the motions."



Tom: "So you want me to surprise you next year?"



Lynette: "Knock yourself out."



Tom: "Just wait, 'cause I will think of something even better."



Lynette: "Well, after this year, I would be happy with any date that included food and shelter."



Tom lifts his coffee mug for a toast.



Tom: "Nine years."



Lynette: "Nine years...and I have loved every minute of it."



Tom: "Me, too."



WISTERIA LANE - NIGHTTIME



Rex: "Take a drive down any street in Suburbia. Know what you're gonna see? A bunch of guys wearing the same expression. It's a look that says, Oh, crap. My dreams are never gonna come true. I'll never have a life free from scandal. I'll never have a son of my own. I'll never hold her in my arms again. I'll never get to tell her how I feel." Yeah, the suburbs are filled with a lot of men who have given up hope. Of course, every once in a while you do come across some lucky SOB whose dreams have all come true. You know how you spot them? They're the ones who can't stop smiling. Don't you just hate those guys?"



THE END

关键字:绝望主妇第三季

生词表: