VICTOR'S HOUSE



Gabrielle knocks on the front door. The maid answers.



Gabrielle: "Hi. Remember me? I had dinner here the other night. Anyway, I was driving through your neighborhood after having, like, three iced teas, and I really have to go to the bathroom. Do you mind?"



She goes inside and upstairs. Once upstairs, she goes to the walk-in closet and takes off her coat, revealing that she was only wearing her bra and panties underneath. She takes one of the dresses and puts it on.



Gabrielle: "You and I are gonna be so happy together."



She's about to put her coat back on when she then starts putting on as many clothes as can fit her. Finally, she leaves, all bundled up, passing by the maid on her way out.



Gabrielle: "I feel ten pounds lighter. Thank you."



OUTSIDE SUSAN'S HOUSE



Mike walks up to Susan, who's taking groceries out of her car.



Mike: "Hey, you got a minute? I need your help with something."



Susan: "I should probably get these inside."



Mike: "Please, I...I need to ask you about a movie."



Later, Mike is telling Susan about the movie.



Mike: "And so the last part I remember, the girl is putting these raw pancakes in front of him, and then something else funny happened. I don't remember. It was just a stupid chick flick."



Susan: "Mike, it wasn't a movie. That was us."



Mike: "What?"



Susan: "Yeah. That was the first night that we spent together. I wanted to surprise you."



Mike: "With raw pancakes?"



Susan: "They weren't all raw. I was trying to spell "Mike," and the "m" was goopy, but the "ike" was delicious. You loved it."



Mike: "I did, huh?"



Susan: "Actually, no, it was gross. But you were really sweet. You just gave me a lot of kisses and said not to worry, I'd get a lot of chances to make you pancakes 'cause..."



Mike: "'Cause I was planning on spending the rest of... my mornings with you."



Susan: "You remember."



Mike: "Yeah."



Susan: "I should go 'cause Ian's parents are here."



She goes back inside as Ian, from inside the house, watches.



ROTARY CLUB



Gabrielle and Victor talk with another member of the Rotary Club.



Victor: "It's nice to see you."



Man: "Thank you both for coming."



Victor: "You know, I know I've said it ten times, but you look fantastic. And my offer still stands."



Gabrielle: "You do not have to pay for my dress."



Victor: "Come on. You only needed it for my luncheon, and it looks like it cost a bundle."



Gabrielle: "Trust me, it was a steal. I'm gonna go powder my nose, and then you can start showing me off."



She leaves and Victor's assistant comes over.



Assistant: "Heads-up. I just saw your ex-wife."



Victor: "What is she doing here?"



Assistant: "Some friend of hers is getting a plaque, too. You want to duck out after your speech?"



Victor: "Are you kidding? I can't wait till she gets a good, long look at Gaby."



BATHROOM



Gabrielle is powdering her nose when Victor's ex-wife, Samantha, walks in. She stares at Gabrielle.



Gabrielle: "Hey."



Samantha: "Hello. I love your dress."



Gabrielle: "Thanks."



Samantha: "It's one-of-a-kind, isn't it?"



Gabrielle: "Yeah, couture."



Samantha: "Undari?"



Gabrielle: "Wow, good eye."



Samantha: "Well, I do have an unfair advantage. I bought it."



Gabrielle: "So you're...well, first, let me just say you have amazing taste. If we had met in any other context, we would so get along."



Samantha: "I left those clothes with Victor so he could store them, not loan them to his sluts."



Gabrielle: "Okay, you're mad, so I'm just gonna blow right by that slut crack."



Samantha: "I want my dress back now."



Gabrielle: "Okay, let's be reasonable. You can't wear two dresses to one lunch. It's not like I have a spare in the car."



Samantha: "Not my problem. Give me back the dress."



Gabrielle: "Go ahead. Yell all you want. You can't force me to take off this dress."



Samantha: "This is pepper spray. In three seconds, your eyeballs will be on fire."



Gabrielle: "Could you help me with the clasp?"



Later, Samantha walks up to Victor. She's holding Gabrielle's dress in her hand.



Victor: "Hello, Samantha. I heard you were here...Isn't that Gaby's dress?"



Samantha punches Victor.



BATHROOM



Victor knocks on the bathroom door. Gaby answers it wearing only her bra and panties.



Victor: "Gaby? You in there?"



Gabrielle: "Hey, Victor. You're probably wondering why I've been in here so long. Funny story. I ran into your ex-wife."



Victor: "Yeah, she brought me up to speed."



He hands her his coat while holding an ice pack on his eye.



EDIE'S HOUSE



Carlos and Travers are putting together the model plane while Edie watches.



Edie: "Okay, it's time for bed, Travers."



Travers: "But I wanna show Carlos my new turtle."



Edie stares at Travers meaningfully.



Travers: "Oh. Right. I'm tired."



Carlos: "That's okay, buddy. I gotta get going anyway."



Edie: "Hey, you haven't even finished your wine."



Carlos: "Sorry, early day tomorrow. Come on, kiddo. I'll tuck you in."



Edie: "Sleep tight, Travers."



Travers climbs onto Carlos' back and Carlos goes upstairs. While he's gone, Edie turns on the fireplace by remote control, then breaks off a piece of the wing from the model plane. When Carlos comes back downstairs, she shows him the plane.



Edie: "Oh, no! I'm such a klutz. I think I broke it."



Carlos: "Nah, it's just a flap. I can fix that."



They sit on the couch and Edie dims the lights by remote control.



Carlos: "Uh, Edie?"



Edie: "Yeah?"



Carlos: "I can't see what I'm doing here."



Edie: "I'm sorry."



She turns the lights back up.



Edie: "Maybe I should watch so that if it breaks again, I can fix it."



Carlos: "Okay, um, so this hinge needs to go in at this angle...so that the flap works. See?"



Edie: "God, you're so mechanical."



Carlos: "Edie, what are you doing?"



Edie: "Learning about flaps."



Carlos: "Nah, I think you're coming on to me."



Edie: "Maybe."



Carlos: "Okay, Edie, no."



Edie: "Come on."



Carlos: "We're close friends, and I don't want to ruin that."



Edie: "We're not that close. Let's just do it and see where it goes."



Carlos: "Okay, you know what? It wouldn't go anywhere."



Edie: "Why not?"



Carlos: "'Cause I'm looking for a girl who wants to settle down and be in a serious relationship, and you're not that type."



Edie: "Oh? What type am I?"



Carlos: "You're... the fun type, who likes to dress sexy and go out and meet new people, and then go out the next night and meet another... new people."



Edie: "You think I'm promiscuous?"



Carlos: "I'm just saying, for a house on a cul-de-sac, this place sees a lot of traffic."



Edie: "Just because I'm popular doesn't mean that I'm incapable of a lasting commitment."



Carlos: "Look, you can't even commit to your kid. He's here for a month, and you keep dumping him on neighbors so you can go shopping. That is, when you're not using him for sex bait."



Edie: "Get out of my house."



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette is on the phone while Gabrielle and Susan sit on her couch, drinking beer.



Lynette: "Tom, it's me again. You should've been home thirty minutes ago. I know. You're still mad. I am, too, so why don't you come home and we can be mad together? See you soon."



She hangs up the phone.



Gabrielle: "So what kind of orange is this shirt? Like a salmon or a coral?



Lynette shows her the shirt.



Gabrielle: "Oh, cheese doodle."



Lynette: "Exactly, and I'm supposed to wear that every damn day."



Susan: "Oh, please. It's not that bad. I once worked at this fish-and-chip place. I had to wear an eye patch and a stuffed parrot on my shoulder. "Would you like to hear arrr specials?""



Gabrielle: "Why don't you just tell Tom to pick another color?"



Lynette: "This isn't about the shirt anymore. This is about us working together. Every day it's a battle. It's hurting our marriage. You know what? I'll just tell Tom I need to step back."



Gabrielle: "You mean quit?"



Lynette: "Yeah. We could hire a manager or something."



Susan: "How do you think Tom's gonna feel about that?"



Lynette: "Well, once he decides to stop hiding, I can ask him. You know what? I'm tired of waiting. I'm gonna go down there and I'm gonna talk to him. See you guys later."



She leaves the house.



Susan: "So I guess this means we're babysitting the kids, huh?"



Gabrielle: "Guess so."



Lynette comes back inside.



Lynette: "I'm an idiot. Would you guys mind..."



Susan: "We got it. Just go."



SCAVO RESTAURANT



Lynette enters the restaurant.



Lynette: "Tom! Come on! I know you're still here. You realize what time it is? I know! You're mad. But you just...you can't avoid me all night."



She goes around the bar and steps on broken glass. Then she notices that Tom is unconscious on the floor. She runs over to him.



Lynette: "Oh, my God! Oh, Tom. Tommy...Okay, okay, you're breathing. That's good. That's good."



She picks up her cell phone and dials a number.



Lynette: "Hello? Hi. There's something wrong with my husband. I don't know. He's unconscious. 357 Hawthorne place. Okay, could you please hurry? Thank you. Yes."



She hangs up.



Lynette: "Listen to me. I forbid you to die. If you leave me with a mortgage and a restaurant and five kids, I swear I will track you into the deepest pit of hell and make you pay. Do you hear me? Come on, baby...Oh, please."



HOSPITAL



Tom is sleeping in a hospital bed while Lynette and the doctor talk outside of the room.



Lynette: "So that's it? He threw out his back? Oh, thank God."



Doctor: "I'm guessing he passed out from the pain. But I wanna be clear. A ruptured disc is very serious. He'll need surgery. It'll be a while before he's back on his feet."



Lynette: "How much of a while?"



Doctor: "Three months."



Lynette: "Three months?"



Doctor: "Even then, he'll need to go easy. What sort of work does he do?"



Lynette: "We run a restaurant."



Doctor: "He shouldn't go back for four or five months. Restaurant work is very stressful."



Lynette: "Yeah, it is."



SUSAN'S HOUSE



Susan gets into bed, where Ian is reading over some papers.



Susan: "What's that?"



Ian: "It's the prenup my parents want you to sign."



Susan: "And you brought it to bed? Okay, romance tip number one..."



Ian: "Sorry. I just can't get that off my mind. I keep thinking, why all this ungodly fuss? Susan's not in this for money and heirlooms."



Susan: "Thank you. I don't want your family's stuff. What am I gonna do with half a castle?"



Ian: "Exactly. So why not just sign it?"



Susan: "Huh?"



Ian: "Well, I mean, looking at it rationally, what's the difference between making the promise you just made to me and making the same promise on paper?"



Susan: "Well, the difference is huge. I mean, one way you're trusting me, and...And the other way, you're trying to make it official."



Ian: "But isn't that what marriage is, making your love official?"



Susan: "Ian, do you really want to start our life together making me feel like...I'm on probation?"



Ian: "You know that I trust you. This isn't about my fears. It's about my parents."



Susan: "Really? I think it's about someone else. He just wanted me to help him remember something."



Ian: "Who?"



Susan: "Mike. I saw you watching us. We were just talking."



Ian: "I never thought anything else."



Susan: "Okay, I'll sign it."



Ian: "At least read it first."



Susan: "I don't need to. I trust you."



THERAPIST'S OFFICE



Mike walks in to where his therapist is seated at a table.



Therapist: "Oh. Hi, Mike. So tell me. I've been dying to know. Did you talk to Susan? Could she remember what the movie was?"



Mike: "Actually... no."



Therapist: "Ah, well, hang in there. We'll figure it out. It's just a matter of time before everything starts coming back. Here, have a seat."



Mike: "Listen, you've been really helpful the last few months, but I think I'm done here."



Therapist: "Mike, I know this can be a frustrating process. But if you give up now, there are so many memories that could be lost to you."



Mike: "Yeah, I'm okay with that."



GABRIELLE'S HOUSE



Gabrielle comes downstairs carrying all of the clothes she took from Samantha's closet. She gives them to Victor.



Victor: "Oh, my God. How many did you take?"



Gabrielle: "Sorry. I wanted options. Stop judging me. I was hopped up on couture."



Victor: "Hey, you know, it's not funny. Samantha called her lawyer."



Gabrielle: "What? Over a dress? God, what a bitch."



Victor: "Don't call her that."



Gabrielle: "She threatened me with mace and then slugged you. Now you're on her side?"



Victor: "Gaby, I didn't marry an angry woman. I just divorced one."



Gabrielle: "What happened? Did you have some little mistress on the side?"



Victor: "Worse. I treated her like she was the mistress. I set her up in a nice house, I gave her an allowance. And then I came and went as I pleased. She was always there when I needed her, but if she needed me, well... And if she wasn't happy, she could always go out and buy a nice new dress. You saw the closet, so you know just how happy she was. What?"



Gabrielle: "I've known you for two weeks, and this is the first glimpse of a guy I could actually like."



Victor: "A clueless, emotionally stunted workaholic?"



Gabrielle: "A guy who can admit he screwed up, one who's not trying to impress me every second of the day with how perfect and charming he is. I wouldn't mind seeing more of that guy."



Victor: "Well, his schedule's wide open. How about dinner tomorrow night?"



Gabrielle: "I'd love to. Although what am I gonna wear now?"



Victor: "Doesn't matter. 'Cause I'm just gonna talk you out of it."



Gabrielle: "Look who's back, Mr. Cocky."



Victor: "He never leaves for long, does he, that guy?"



SUSAN'S HOUSE



Susan, Ian, Graham, and Dahlia are sitting around the kitchen table. Susan has the pre-nuptual in front of her.



Dahlia: "Are there any points you'd like to discuss before you sign?"



Susan: "I'd like you to say, "We don't need this. We trust you." But you don't, so I'll sign it. And once I do, I am going to earn your trust by being a good wife to Ian."



Dahlia: "Well, we're sure you will be. Sign all three copies, please."



Susan: "I mean it. I am going to be loving and faithful and above all, honest. There'll be no secrets with Ian. I'll tell him everything."



Dahlia: "Well, we applaud your candor."



Susan: "What I'm trying to say is, there'll be no topic that I need to...skirt. No issue that I won't...address. I won't conceal my true thoughts under garments of secrecy."



Dahlia: "Good for you. Now if you'll just sign..."



Graham reaches out and grabs the papers from Susan. He tears them in half.



Graham: "For God sakes, Dahlia. Anyone can see she's not a fortune hunter."



Dahlia: "Graham, what are you doing? She is willing to sign."



Graham: "Which proves she can be trusted. I'm sure you'll be a good wife to Ian."



Susan: "You can count on it."



OUTSIDE EDIE'S HOUSE



Edie walks up her front porch and sees flowers waiting for her. She reads the card.



MIKE'S HOUSE



Carlos opens his front door and Edie is there.



Edie: "Thanks for the flowers."



Carlos: "You're welcome. Come on."



Edie: "You know, about Travers...you can see him if you want. He misses you."



Carlos: "I miss him, too."



Edie: "Oh, and just so you know, he's at a sleepover, so I didn't leave him alone with a six-pack and some matches."



Carlos: "Look, Edie, um...what I said about you the other day was..."



Edie: "Dead-on. You nailed me, Carlos. Maybe not the way that I wanted you to, but still..."



Carlos: "But I had no right to judge you. Besides, the guys, the clothes, the partying. That's you. I mean, that's the Edie that we love."



Edie: "Well, I'm glad you love her, because I'm getting pretty tired of her."



Carlos: "Come on..."



Edie: "I'm a forty-year-old party girl. Do you think that I don't know that my days are numbered?"



Carlos: "I don't know what you want me to say here."



Edie: "Don't say anything. Just...Stop seeing the person that I've been and start seeing the person I could be. Look at me, not the Edie that I show the world. In fact... let's lose her. Forget the blouse that she wears because she knows it shows off her cleavage."



She takes off her blouse.



Carlos: "Edie, what are you doing?"



Edie: "And the skirt that's so short because she knows that guys love long legs."



She takes off her skirt.



Edie: "And the heels. The ones that make her legs look even longer."



She takes off her shoes.



Carlos: "Edie, please."



Edie: "Forget the bra that holds her breasts a little higher than they are on their own these days."



She takes off her bra.



Edie: "And the panties. The ones that hide the scar from my c-section."



She takes off her panties and stands before Carlos, naked.



Edie: "This is it. Hi, Carlos. I'm Edie. I might not be the woman that you thought I was under all of that... But I'm real, and I'm here. And I'm asking for a chance."



Carlos goes over to her and hugs her.



HOSPITAL



Lynette is sitting by Tom's bedside at the hospital when her phone rings.



Lynette: "Hey, Andrew. Ah, thanks. He's gonna be okay. No. No, absolutely not. We will open tonight as usual. Hey, it's gonna be fine, Andrew. I will take care of it. It's my job now. Okay. See you soon. Bye."



She hangs up the phone.



VARIOUS HOUSES



Mary Alice: "In every housewife's closet, there's an article of clothing that tells you more about its owner than she would want you to know. It might be a shirt that she despises but wears without complaint. Perhaps it's some lingerie, she knows isn't hers, but refuses to discuss... Or a dress she once loved, that she can no longer bear to look at Yes, you can learn a lot about women from what they choose to wear. You can learn even more by what they choose to take off, and who they take it off for."



THE END

关键字:绝望主妇第三季

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