Mary Alice: "When Gabrielle Solis agreed to attend Victor Lang's campaign rally, she was fully prepared to be bored."



Speaker: "I give you the next mayor of Fairview--"



Mary Alice: "But when Victor took the stage, Gabrielle found herself strangely enthralled. Perhaps it was the cheers that greeted his arrival. Perhaps it was the confidence he exuded. Or perhaps it was the effect he had on the citizens of Fairview. Whatever the reason, Gaby decided not only did Victor Lang have her vote...it was time to make a campaign contribution."



After the rally, Gabrielle pushes her way through a crowd of women who are waiting for Victor to give them autographs.



Gabrielle: "Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm afraid Mr. Lang has to take an important meeting in his limo...now."



She grabs his arm and drags him off to the limo. He gets inside with Gabrielle close behind. He loosens his tie as she begins taking off her clothing.



Victor: "To the radio station, Clyde. So what's all this about?"



Gabrielle: "Your speech--I liked it."



Victor: "Seriously, here? Now?"



Gabrielle: "Well, you laid out all your positions. Don't you want to get acquainted with mine?"



Victor: "Clyde, could you put up the partition, please?"



Clyde: "Yes, sir. Anything else?"



Gabrielle: "Music. Loud music."



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Tom is shouting from his hospital bed.



Tom: "Mrs. McCluskey, it has been ten minutes! Where's my pie?!"



Mrs. McCluskey: "I'm unloading the dishwasher. You'll get your damn pie when I'm done."



Tom: "I want my pie now."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, you heard me. Your being here isn't charity."



Tom: "We pay you good money to help us. So when I ask you to do something, I want it done!"



Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, here's a surprise for you..."



SCAVO RESTAURANT



Mrs. McCluskey, with all five kids surrounding her, shows up at the restaurant.



Mrs. McCluskey: "...I quit."



Lynette: "What? What? Why? Why? What happened?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "Five kids are tough enough, but your husband makes six, And that's where I draw the line."



Lynette: "Okay, I know that, uh, Tom has been a little cranky lately."



Mrs. McCluskey: "No, I'm cranky. He's insufferable. I hate to admit this, Lynette, but every time that man screams out in pain, I do a little jig inside."



Lynette: "Look, I'll talk to Tom--"



Mrs. McCluskey: "No, my mind's made up."



Lynette: "Wait, wait, wait! Please don't do this. Please. I am at the end of my rope."



Mrs. McCluskey: "I wish I could help you, Lynette. I can see that you're going down, But I'm just too old to get dragged down with you."



She leaves and Lynette notices that her boys are already causing mischief behind the counter.



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette opens the front door and the kids run inside.



Lynette: "Okay, everybody, go on up to bed. Parker, you got the baby. Yeah, that's exactly right. You know what to do."



She walks into the dining room where Tom is.



Tom: "Before you speak, just know that ever since McCluskey left, I've been lying here feeling like the biggest jerk ever. Tomorrow morning, I am gonna call her and apologize. I will fix this."



Lynette: "Well, you might also want to apologize to the customer who found a Lego in her pizza."



Tom: "Oh, God. Did the kids do that?"



Lynette: "I hope."



Tom: "Oh, God."



Lynette: "It was so awful tonight."



Tom: "Oh, honey. You know what you need?"



Lynette: "What?"



Tom: "A seein' to. Once the kids are asleep, slip on that sexy blue thing And then sneak back down here."



Lynette: "You wanna have sex? But you're immobile."



Tom: "Okay, maybe full-on sex is a little ambitious, but there's other stuff that we could do..."



Lynette: "But you can't bend at the waist, and that pretty much leaves the heavy lifting to me."



Tom: "Trust me, if you get us to the finish line, I will cross it."



Lynette: "Is that why you apologized, just so I'd... service you?"



Tom: "Honey, I have been trapped in this bed all day long. I'm bored. I'm miserable. Can't you do this one little thing for me?"



Lynette: "I have been doing everything I can to keep our heads above water. I can't do you, too."



GABRIELLE'S HOUSE



Gabrielle, over various times, checks her answering machine.



Mary Alice: "For Gabrielle, the best part of having sex with a new man was seeing how quickly his affection would turn to obsession."



Answering Machine: "No messages."



Mary Alice: "But when Victor failed to call the next morning..."



Answering Machine: "No messages."



Mary Alice: "Or the next afternoon..."



Answering Machine: "No messages."



Mary Alice: "It was Gabrielle who began obsessing."



Later, Gabrielle and Susan are at Gabrielle's kitchen table, drinking margaritas and eating chips.



Gabrielle: "Not a peep. Twenty-four hours."



Susan: "Well, he's busy. Isn't he debating the mayor tonight?"



Gabrielle: "I don't care! He can find two lousy minutes for me."



Edie walks in.



Edie: "I'm here! Deal me in."



Gabrielle: "Sorry, no poker today. Lynette had to work. Want a margarita?"



Edie: "Oh, I'd like three, but I'll start with one."



A workman comes into the room.



Toby: "Ms. Solis? Sorry to interrupt. You have any water?"



Gabrielle: "Yeah, in the fridge."



Edie: "Who is that?"



Susan: "And why don't you put your water on that lower shelf?"



Toby: "Thank you."



He leaves.



Gabrielle: "That's Toby. He's fixing my closet."



Edie: "Has your cocky boyfriend gotten a load of the help?"



Susan: "Move away from that topic."



Gabrielle: "We had sex yesterday in his limo."



Edie: "Ooh, I love limo sex. Town car or stretch?"



Gabrielle: "Well, stretch, of course. I'm not a complete slut. Point is, he hasn't called since."



Edie: "So... how was the sex?"



Gabrielle: "Fantastic. As good as with Carlos."



Edie: "Hmm. That good, huh?"



Gabrielle: "God, I'm such an idiot. I gave it up way too fast. Now I've lost all the power."



Susan: "Oh, come on."



Gabrielle: "No, I'm serious. Our mothers had the right idea. They let men think they were the only ones who needed sex, And women just went along as a favor. Men begged for every crumb, and we never lost the upper hand."



Edie: "Yeah, no guy respects an easy conquest. I make all my men wait."



Susan: "It's true. She has a little room with magazines and an aquarium."



Edie: "I have so missed our friendship."



Susan: "I think if you really like this guy, you should just be honest. You should tell him that you feel a little hurt--"



Edie: "Oh, yeah, whining is really gonna bring him to his knees. You wanna get this guy back in line? You hit him hard, hit him fast. Is he the jealous type?"



Gabrielle: "Aren't they all? So what should I do to make him jealous?"



Toby, the workman, comes in again.



Toby: "I got all the shelves up. Anything else?"



Edie and Susan look at Gabrielle with raised eyebrows.



MAYORAL DEBATE



The mayor and Victor are each set up at a podium to debate.



Mayor: "My opponent thinks we should combat prostitution by mounting surveillance cameras to embarrass the customers. I call that a blatant violation of our citizens' privacy."



Victor: "Mr. Mayor, if you're so worried about privacy, just wear a hat, keep your head down, and you'll be fine."



Debate Official: "Okay, thank you very much, gentlemen. So let's move on to our next subject."



Gabrielle walks into the debate with Toby by her side. She sits down in the front row with him and begins kissing his neck and rubbing his knee. Victor sees it all.



Debate Official: "You both have said our citizens pay too much in taxes. How would you attract new business to boost the city's tax base? Mr. Lang?"



Victor: "I'm sorry, would you, uh...uh, repeat the question, please?"



Debate Official: "How would you bring new business to Fairview?"



Victor: "I would, uh...offer tax exemptions to, uh, first-year start-ups."



Mayor: "And that will...increase our tax base?"



Victor: "Uh, no. Of course not. Not at first. But when conjoined with..."



Mayor: "My opponent seems a bit overtaxed himself."



Gabrielle smiles in satisfaction at Victor. She and Toby get up and leave. As they go, Gabrielle takes Toby's hand and places it firmly on her behind.



Debate Official: "Gentlemen, there's been much talk lately regarding our local schools. What would you do to improve public education?"



SCAVO RESTAURANT



Lynette brings a pizza out to a table.



Lynette: "Here you go. Sorry for the wait."



At another table, a man calls for Lynette's attention.



Customer: "Miss! Please?"



Lynette: "I will be right there!"



She turns to go back into the kitchen and runs into Kim, who drops a huge stack of plates. They crash onto the floor.



Kim: "Oh, my God! Mrs. Scavo, I am so sorry."



Lynette: "Don't cry. Just clean."



Customer: "Miss, if you could just--"



Lynette: "I swear, I will be there in one second.



She brings Kim some towels.



Lynette: "Here you go. Here you go."



Rick walks in.



Rick: "Let me guess. This a bad time?"



Lynette: "Oh, my God, Rick. I never got back to you. I am so sorry."



Rick: "That's okay. I didn't mind waiting. So long as it's good news for me now."



Lynette: "Look, I think you're great, and we would be lucky to have you. It's just, my husband isn't really comfortable--"



Rick: "With an ex-drug addict in his kitchen. You can drug test me every week. Anything you want. I just... I really need this job."



Customer: "Miss!"



Lynette: "Could you excuse me a second? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's up?"



Customer: "I hate my calzone."



Lynette: "Oh? What's wrong with it?"



Customer: "It's just not good, and I want a new one."



Lynette: "All right, all right. I will put you order in. But the kitchen's a little backed up."



Customer: "Not my problem. You gave me a sucky calzone. I don't care if you have to get back there and make it yourself!"



Lynette: "I can't do this. It's just..."



She sinks down into a chair and rests her head in her hands.



Customer: "What is this?"



Rick comes over.



Rick: "I'll make you a new calzone, sir. Uh, fresh basil, garlic...you like sun-Dried tomatoes?"



Customer: "Yeah, sounds good."



Rick: "All right."



Customer: "Is she all right?"



Rick: "Yeah. It's her grandma's calzone recipe. She takes criticism very personally."



He goes to the kitchen.



Rick: "Prep some dough for a calzone for me, And, uh, can you get someone to chop some basil?"



Andrew: "Yeah, okay. Who are you?"



Rick: "I'm Rick."



Andrew: "You--You--You work here now?"



Rick looks at Lynette, who nods slightly.



Rick: "Looks like I do."



SUSAN'S BEDROOM



Ian is reading in bed when Susan comes in. She's wearing a black negligee and she leans against the doorframe.



Ian: "Oh, is that new?"



Susan: "I just bought it. But if you don't like it, feel free to rip it off me."



Ian: "Actually, I have this book proposal to discuss at an eight a.m. meeting, so I-I can't really..."



Susan: "Well, that's okay. You gotta work, you gotta work. So, um...I was thinking about London. Julie's gonna be applying to college as soon, and, um, a year abroad could give her a real boost. So...let's do it."



Ian: "Are you serious?"



Susan: "Yes. I wanna spend time in your world. I wanna play cricket, and I wanna eat crumpets, And I want to use the word ghastly."



He pulls Susan on top of him.



Ian: "God, Susan, you have no idea how excited this makes me feel."



Susan: "My thigh's getting an inkling."



Ian: "We'll call a realtor first thing in the morning and put our houses on the market."



Susan: "Not mine, okay? That way, we can use it when we visit."



Ian: "That's what hotels are for, darling."



Susan: "I don't want sell my house. Everybody I love is on this street."



Ian pushes Susan off of him. He picks up his book again and begins to read.



Susan: "What happened?"



Ian: "I'm feeling tired."



Susan: "You weren't tired a second ago."



Ian: "I'm not in the mood, all right?"



Susan: "Why not?"



Ian: "You know, I'm not used to being grilled about my sex drive."



Susan: "Well, I'm not used to guys bailing on me in the middle of foreplay."



Ian: "And by guys, of course you mean Mike."



Susan: "What?"



Ian: "Oh, I'm sure good old Mike was ready and able twenty-four seven."



Susan: "You're not actually...okay. That's it...I've had it. Really, I can't have this conversation one more time. I've done nothing but prove my love to you for the last year and you cannot shut up about Mike."



Ian: "I don't trust the man!"



Susan: "Well, you don't have to trust Mike! You have to trust me, and you don't! That's what going to England's about, isn't it? You're just trying to get me away from Mike. Well, you know what? Screw it. I'm not going. And if you ever bring up his name again, we're over. Got it? Over!"



She storms puts on her slippers. She sees the thank you gift on the table, so she picks it up and goes across the street and knocks on Mike's door.



MIKE'S HOUSE



Mike answers.



Mike: "Hi."



Susan: "This is from me and Ian."



Mike: "An electric juicer."



Susan: "Yeah, well, you know, you try to think of a more appropriate "thank you for saving my life" gift."



Mike: "This works fine for me."



Susan: "Good. I should go."



Mike: "You okay?"



Susan: "I'm good."



Mike: "You sure about that?"



Susan: "Yeah, it's just, um...you know, Ian and I had a had a little...thing."



Mike leans over and kisses her. After several seconds, the kiss ends and Susan goes back to her house.



SUSAN'S HOUSE



Ian is in the kitchen waiting for her.



Ian: "Hi."



Susan: "Hi. Ian, about what I said--"



Ian: "You were right. You've never given me reason to doubt you. I'm an insecure idiot. I don't deserve you, Susan. But if you'll please keep pretending that I do, I swear I will not utter a single jealous word for the rest of our lives together."



GABRIELLE'S HOUSE



Gabrielle, at various times, checks her answering machine.



Answering Machine: "Gaby, it's Victor. What the hell were you thinking? That little stunt of yours almost cost me the debate."



Answering Machine: "It's me again. Okay, I get it. I forgot to call, and you were mad. But still, you--"



Answering Machine: "Hi. I hope you got the flowers. Again, I am so sorry for not calling--"



Answering Machine: "Gaby, come on. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me? I'll do anything you want--"



The doorbell rings. It's Victor.



Victor: "I brought you some flowers...in case the other three bouquets get lonely."



Gabrielle: "Thank you. You can go now. I don't want to take any more time out of your busy schedule."



Victor: "For God sake, Gaby, How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? What I did was thoughtless and inconsiderate."



Gabrielle: "Yes, it was."



Victor: "What you did was flat-out vicious."



Gabrielle: "Just trying to get your attention."



Victor: "By humiliating me in public?"



Gabrielle: "Hey, you hurt me. If I have to strike back hard to protect myself..."



Victor: "Is that what you think this is? Combat?"



Gabrielle: "I've been taken for granted before, and I'm not gonna let it happen again. If I'm gonna give myself to you, you damn well better worship me!"



Victor: "And I will do that...morning and evening services."



Gabrielle: "Good."



Victor: "But you have to stop treating this relationship Like it's a boxing match only one of us can win. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm in love with you. So it'd be nice If you could take the gloves off and trust me."



Gabrielle: "You're in love with me?"



Victor: "My campaign--that's about winning. This, you and me, it's about happiness. And we could both use a little. But maybe you need some more time to think about it."



He starts to leave. She grabs him and kisses him, then leans back, showing him her open palms.



Gabrielle: "Look. No gloves."



EDIE'S HOUSE



Carlos is looking at pictures on his digital camera when Edie comes downstairs.



Edie: "Travers conked out the moment his head hit the pillow. Poor little guy was beat."



Carlos: "Well, he should be. We covered every inch of that zoo. Oh, check this out--You and Travers at the monkey house."



Edie: "Oh, I look squinty. Delete. Delete."



Carlos: "There's the one the pretzel guy took."



Edie: "Look at the three of us. You have to e-mail me that one."



Carlos: "Isn't that great? You know, he thought that Travers had my eyes."



Edie: "Seriously?"



Carlos: "He totally thought we were a family."



Edie: "Well, if we were, we'd be one hell of a good-looking one."



Carlos: "Yeah. Nothing better than family."



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Tom is on the phone with Mrs. McCluskey.



Edie: "And this time, I really mean it."



Carlos: "Me, too."



Tom: "Well, you gonna say anything?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "To be honest I've heard a better apology. But I know how hard this must have been for you. And that makes me happy. So I accept."



Tom: "Thanks. That's big of you."



Mrs. McCluskey: "That is big of you to admit you are a chucklehead. I'll see you tomorrow."



MRS. MCCLUSKEY'S HOUSE



Mrs. McCluskey hangs up her phone and continues folding her laundry in the basement.



Mrs. McCluskey: "Did you heard that, Gibert? He apologized. I mean I know he did it just for her sake But still...maybe they have a good marriage after all. But they will never have what we had, will they? Gilbert. Not by a long shot."



Mary Alice: "Passion. It's a force so potent we still remember it long after it's faded away. A drive so alluring it can push us to the arms of unexpected lovers. A sensation so overwhelming it can knock down walls we built to protect our hearts. A feeling so intense it resurfaces even though we try so hard to keep it buried. Yes, of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes."



In Mrs. McCluskey's basement, she opens her freezer to remove a popsicle. Inside the freezer is the frozen body of her late husband.



THE END

关键字:绝望主妇第三季

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