Rick is on the phone.



Rick: "Sounds great. Thanks."



He hangs up and turns to Lynette.



Rick: "Hey, how would you like to eat something that's neither pasta nor pizza?"



Lynette: "Such food exists? Don't tease me."



Rick: "No, my--my friend, Al, he's opening a south food place...and Sunday night, he wants to test the menu with some of his chef buddies. He said I could bring someone."



Lynette: "And--and--and you want me to go with you?"



Rick: "It'll be after we close. And don't tell me that you hate southern food, 'cause then we can't be friends."



Lynette: "No, I love it. It's...it's just that's a little late for me, and..."



Rick: "Oh, oh, oh. Okay. I-I just thought it'd be fun."



Lynette: "No, it would be, but Sunday nights are kind of crazy. I'm packing lunches and checking homework..."



Rick: "Right, right. No worries .I get it. You're just, uh, first person I thought of."



He walks off. Lynette looks at him.



Lynette: "You know, maybe I should go. Um... it's part of the job to check out the competition, right?"



Rick: "Yeah, absolutely. It never hurts to see what else is out there."



Lynette: "I agree."



WISTERIA LANE PARK



Travers is having his birthday party in the middle of Wisteria Lane and half the neighborhood is there. Lynette is setting out the food.



Lynette: "Hey, guys, go check out the snakes. I'll give you some pizza later, okay?"



Ida walks by.



Ida: "See you later."



Lynette: "All right, I'll see you later."



Some kids line up for food.



Lynette: "Hey, you want some pizza?"



Kid: "Yeah."



Lynette: "There you go."



Susan walks up.



Susan: "Lynette! What are you doing here?"



Lynette: "Edie asked me to cater. I know, I'm a total whore, but please don't rat me out to Gaby."



Edie "Hi, Susan! I have thirty copies of your book. The kids can't wait for you to sign it. Come on, let's go! Come on, come on!"



Lynette: "Looks like we're working the same corner."



Susan: "Yeah, only I didn't know Edie was gonna have the party in a park. What if Gaby see us?"



Lynette: "Trust me, we can both relax. I talked to her this morning, and she's out with Victor all day."



Susan: "Oh. Well, that's a relief."



Four kids look over at Mrs. McCluskey's house.



Kid: "Go ahead. I dare ya."



One of them takes a small can of paint out of his pocket and runs up to Mrs. McCluskey's door where he paints WITCH on it. Parker comes up to them.



Parker: "Hey! What's going on? Hey, don't do that!"



Kid: "Why not?"



Parker: "Because she's not a witch."



Kid: "How do you know?"



Parker: "'Cause she isn't. Don't be a jerk."



Kid: "What is she, your girlfriend? Parker's in love!"



Parker: "Shut up!"



The kid shoves Parker. Mrs. McCluskey opens the front door. The four kids run off, leaving Parker behind.



Mrs. McCluskey: "Hey, you boys! Knock it off! Parker, I'm so sorry. Are you all right?"



Parker: "You know, everything would be okay if you'd tell people what you told me. You can make 'em stop."



He leaves.



OUTSIDE GABRIELLE'S HOUSE



Gabrielle drives her car up onto the driveway while talking on her cell phone.



Gabrielle: "Hey, Lynette, it's Gaby. Victor got pulled into some photo op at the homeless shelter. So I'm free for lunch. You wanna go with? I tried Susan but she's not home, which is weird because her car's in the driveway and...so is yours. Where is everybody?"



She ends the call and pulls out of her driveway. In the park, Lynette sees Gabrielle driving over. She runs over to Susan and pushes her onto the ground.



Lynette: "Down! Down! Down! Aah!"



Susan: "Lynette, what is wrong with you?"



Lynette: "Gaby's coming."



Susan: "What? I thought you said she was with Victor."



Lynette: "I was wrong. I was wrong. Come on. Follow me. Follow me."



They start crawling on all fours across the lawn. One of the twins sees them.



Twin: "Mommy, can I play?"



Lynette: "No! Go ride the python!" (to Susan) "Come on."



They see the truck that the reptile man brought and they go inside.



Lynette: "Okay, okay, she's circling the park."



Susan: "Ugh. I wish she'd hurry. I'm terrified of snakes."



Lynette: "Oh, yeah, I'm more terrified of Gaby. Okay, good, good. We're almost home free..."



Lynette turns to face Susan and freezes.



Susan: "What?"



Lynette: "Don't turn around."



Susan turns around. A huge hairy spider is free of its cage. It rears back on its legs and hisses. Susan and Lynette run screaming from the truck and catch Gabrielle's attention, who stops her car and runs over to them.



Gabrielle: "Lynette! Susan!"



Lynette: "Hey, Gab. Hi."



Gabrielle: "What are you two doing here?"



Susan: "Uh, what are we doing here?"



Lynette: "Well, Edie hired me to cater, so it's just business. I don't know what her excuse is."



Susan: "You are so dead."



Gabrielle: "I don't believe it. This is an absolute betrayal of our friendship."



Over to the side, Carlos and Edie look over as Gabrielle talks.



Lynette: "Gaby, she asked me to make twenty pizzas. I couldn't turn it down."



Edie: "Oh, this is so delicious."



Gabrielle: "Is that what our friendship is worth to you--twenty pizzas? We had a pact!"



Lynette: "Oh, come on, Gaby, be fair. You put us in a really awkward position."



Gabrielle: "Me? You two owe me an apology."



Susan: "No, Gaby, be reasonable."



Gabrielle: "I am leaving this party right now, and if you two don't come with me, our friendship is over."



Carlos starts walking over to them.



Lynette: "Gaby!"



Susan: "Oh, come on!"



Lynette: "What?"



Gabrielle: "Oh! No, I mean it."



Carlos doesn't stop when he gets to them, but just bends over, puts his shoulder in Gabrielle's stomach and lifts her up over his shoulder and keeps walking.



Gabrielle: "Carlos, stop! Put me down! What are you doing?!"



He walks her over to her car before putting her down.



Gabrielle: "Stop it! Carlos, put me down! How dare you maul me like that!"



Carlos: "You were ruining Travers' birthday party. What the hell is wrong with you?"



Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. Betrayal makes me a little cranky."



Carlos: "Come on, Gaby, you can't tell Susan and Lynette who they're allowed to be friends with. It's ridiculous."



Gabrielle: "I'll tell you what's ridiculous. You not having the guts to tell me you were dating Edie."



Carlos: "Oh, here it is."



Gabrielle: "Yeah. I had to find out from her at my damn engagement party."



Carlos: "Well, I had to hear that you were engaged to that Victor guy on the news."



Gabrielle: "I didn't plan it that way. It was spur of the moment."



Carlos: "Oh, so you just said, hey, what the heck? You even in love with this guy?"



Gabrielle: "Yes, deeply."



Carlos: "Must be nice."



Gabrielle: "Well, aren't you in love with Edie?"



Carlos: "We're having fun together, but it'll never be serious. So...if I'm just dating, and you're in love and getting married...remind me again why it is that you get to be the angry one."



Gabrielle: "I'm sorry, Carlos."



Carlos: "You should be."



He walks away.



Mary Alice: "And for the first time, Gabrielle was willing to let Carlos be with someone else..."



Carlos walks up to Edie and kisses her on the cheek.



Edie: "Hey!"



Carlos: "Hey."



Mary Alice: "Because she knew... he still belonged to her."



Later, when the party is over, Edie shows the other women the leftover cake.



Edie: "Feel free to take home as much cake as you want. I do not want to be tempted."



Lynette: "I might take a little for Tom and..."



Mrs. McCluskey comes over.



Lynette: "Hi, Mrs. McCluskey. Would you like some cake?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "I didn't come for sweets. I know you people have been talking about me, and I guess the only way to shut you up is to come clean. So...who would like to hear the gruesome details?"



Edie: "I would."



Ida: "Um...yeah. If--if you feel like it."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Well... first off--and I know this will disappoint some of you--but I didn't kill Gilbert. I came home from a weekend in Laughlin and found him in front of the TV--dead. He still had the remote in his hand."



Edie: "Good lord."



Mrs. McCluskey: "It was two A.M., so I decided to wait until morning to call the funeral home. And I went to his desk to make sure everything was in order. I found his pension plan...and guess what? In the event of his death, I was not the beneficiary."



Susan: "Who was?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "His first wife. They were married when he started the job--for two years. We were together for thirty-four years, and that idiot didn't change the paperwork. I not only lost my Gilbert, but I was about to lose everything. So I, um...I, um..."



Lynette: "You put him in the freezer and kept cashing the checks."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Well, what else was I gonna do? Besides, after a while, it was kind of nice having him around. Anyway... that's the truth. You ladies have my permission to pass it along...not that some of you ladies need it."



MIKE'S HOUSE



Mike answers his door to find Susan standing there.



Susan: "Probably weren't expecting to see me, huh?"



Mike: "Well, after twenty unanswered calls...no, not really."



Susan: "About that, uh, obviously, have been very confused. I finally saw a therapist. Actually, it was sort of a court-ordered thing. Anyway...well, I need to talk to you."



Later, the two of them are sitting on Mike's porch steps.



Mike: "You sound...sure."



Susan: "I am. I'm gonna marry Ian. Believe me, this wasn't easy, especially when you started to remember how it was between us. Maybe if the timing had been different..."



Mike: "It wasn't."



Susan: "I'm sorry, Mike."



Mike: "Well, at least I have my memories."



He goes back inside.



SCAVO RESTAURANT



The restaurant is nearly empty with just Lynette and Rick there.



Rick: "You ready to go?"



Lynette: "Yeah. Um, I told Kim that we'd be out the rest of the evening and she's gonna lock up."



Rick: "Great. I'll, uh, just get my jacket."



Lynette: "Okay."



Rick leaves and Lynette takes some perfume from her purse and puts it on. Suddenly, the door opens and Tom comes in with the kids.



Tom: "Hey! You got a table for seven?"



Lynette: "Hey! Hi! What are you doing here?"



Tom: "Well, the kids wanted to surprise you, and it's been forever since we've all had dinner together..."



Lynette: "So...what--well, how did you get here? I mean, you're not supposed to...drive."



Tom: "I took a cab, a double-dose of the painkillers, and voila! You surprised?"



Lynette: "Yeah, a little."



Twin: "We missed you."



Lynette: "Oh, I missed you, too. Hey, why don't you guys go grab that big table, and I will have Rick whip something up for us?"



Tom hugs Lynette.



Tom: "Hi. Wow, you smell good."



Lynette: "Oh. It must be the basil. It has a kind of sweet smell."



Tom gets the kids settled at the table.



Tom: "Hey, Kayla, can you get a high chair for your sister, please?"



Kayla: "Yeah."



Tom: "All right, who wants pizza?"



Kayla goes over to where the booster seats are and sees Lynette talking with Rick.



Lynette: "Oh, hi. Uh, change of plans."



Rick: "Yeah. Yeah, I see."



Lynette: "But...I'm sorry. You could still go."



Rick: "Oh, no. No, no. I'll stay. I'll cook for your family."



Lynette: "Thanks. Thank you."



She places her hand on his chest and smiles up at him.



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Kayla pulls a blanket over Tom.



Tom: "Thanks, sweetie. You are taking such good care of me."



Kayla: "When's Lynette getting home?"



Tom: "Oh, as soon as she closes up the pizzeria."



Kayla: "Mm. Is that guy Rick helping her?"



Tom: "He better be, for as much as we're paying him."



Kayla: "I think Lynette likes him."



Tom: "Sure. He's a nice guy, hard worker."



Kayla: "No, I mean, she likes him, likes him."



Tom: "What makes you say that?"



Kayla: "Just something I noticed. Well, good night, daddy."



She kisses him on the cheek and smiles.



SUSAN'S HOUSE



Ian and Susan are kissing.



Ian: "Mrs. Susan Hainsworth--god, I love the sound of that. Or did you want to keep your name? Because I love the sound of that, too. As long as I get to call you my wife."



Susan: "Deal."



Ian: "You do realize we're gonna be blissfully happy, don't you? I mean, it could actually get a bit disgusting. People might throw fruit."



Susan: "Oh, I'm gonna lock up down here. Why don't you go upstairs and warm up the bed?"



Ian: "You do realize we're gonna be great together, don't you?"



Susan: "I know."



Ian leaves and Susan begins turning off the lights. She presses the "Play" button on the answering machine and Mike's voice begins speaking.



Mike: "Hey, Susan. Um, I don't mean to bug you. There's just so much I didn't get to say. Um, I... god, I'm lousy at good-byes. Anyway, you will always be the best thing that ever happened to me, and, well, I hope you find the happiness you deserve. Bye. Oh, this is Mike."



Ian comes back into the room silently without Susan noticing. He starts to go to her, but she pushes the "Play" button again and he stops. As the message plays again, he goes upstairs.



Mike: "Hey, Susan. Um, I don't mean to bug you. There's just so much I didn't get to say. Um, I... god, I'm lousy at good-byes. Anyway, you will always be the best thing that ever happened to me, and, well, I hope you find the happiness you deserve. Bye. Oh, this is Mike."



Upstairs, Susan goes into the bedroom to find Ian packing his bags.



Susan: "Where are you going?"



Ian: "Home...to England."



Susan: "To England? What's wrong?"



Ian: "Well, it's just, um...I don't think this is going to work."



Susan: "What? But just ten minutes ago, we were making plans, and you were saying how great we were gonna be together."



Ian: "I, uh, saw you listening to that message from Mike."



Susan: "Well, Ian, I made my choice."



Ian: "But not for the right reasons. You're just trying to honor a promise you made to me."



Susan: "That's not true. I will get over him."



Ian: "You've been trying to get over him for as long as I've known you. Haven't had much luck, have you?"



Susan: "Ian, I love you."



Ian: "I know you do. But you love him a little bit more, don't you? I can't live a life where every time I see you with a faraway look, I'll wonder if you're thinking of him. I'm so sorry. You deserve to be happy. And so do I. Good-bye, Susan."



He leaves.



OUTSIDE MRS. MCCLUSKEY'S HOUSE



Mrs. McCluskey is getting her mail when Lynette walks up to her.



Lynette: "Hey, Mrs. McCluskey."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Lynette."



Lynette: "Well, it turns out our new babysitter isn't working out too well. Feel up to another tour of duty?"



Mrs. McCluskey: "Are you sure you want the Wisteria Witch looking after your kids?"



Lynette: "My kids know you're not a witch."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Too bad. I could use the leverage."



Lynette: "We missed you."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Same here. I'm gonna need a raise, though. I'm kinda strapped."



Lynette: "Okay."



LYNETTE'S HOUSE



Lynette walks into the kitchen where Tom is eating breakfast.



Lynette: "I just talked to Mrs.McCluskey, and she is gonna start looking after our kids again."



Tom: "That's great!"



Lynette: "Yeah."



Tom: "'Cause actually, have been thinking, and...it is time that I got back to work."



Lynette: "What?"



Tom: "Yep. I'm feeling good. I'm gettin' around better."



Lynette: "But...but the doctor said your recovery would take months, and it's only been six weeks."



Tom: "Well, it's not like I'm gonna, you know, dead-lift a bag of ice, but I can sprinkle cheese on a pizza. Mm. Besides...I hate making you run that place by yourself."



Lynette: "I don't mind."



Tom: "Really? Because before, you said it was killing you."



Lynette: "Yeah, well, you know, it is, but I just don't want you to come back before you're ready. You might reinjure yourself."



Tom: "I'll be careful. The best part is we can finally get Rick off the books."



Lynette: "Rick? Why would we want to let him go?"



Tom: "Well, I know he's been great, but, um, his salary is cutting into our profits."



Lynette: "Actually, he is bringing in more than enough business to cover his salary. I mean, with all those new dishes he's been cooking, he's got a lot of fans out there."



Tom: "Does he really?"



Lynette: "Yeah. I think firing him would be a huge mistake."



Tom: "Well, it's just a thought."



Lynette: "Well, don't think so much. Just rest and get better. That's what you need to do."



Tom: "You gonna be late tonight?"



Lynette: "Probably. We got a big party coming in at ten. So...mm-hmm. I'll just see you in the morning."



Tom: "I'll be here."



Lynette: "Okay."



SUSAN'S HOUSE



Susan opens her front door to find Ida standing there.



Susan: "Hi, Ida.What's up?"



Ida: "That idiot postman mixed up our mail again."



Susan: "Oh, poor Mr. Henley. He does seem to be getting worse. Thanks for stopping by."



Ida: "Hey, have you heard about Mike?"



Susan: "No. Uh, what about him?"



Ida: "He moved."



Susan: "Moved? What do you mean?"



Ida: "Mona Clarke was up at two in the morning with acid reflux, and she saw him pack his car and everything."



Susan: "Well, that doesn't make sense. Mike wouldn't leave without saying good-bye."



Ida: "Well, he did. According to Carlos, something bad happened, and Mike just wanted to get the heck out of dodge. It's a pity. I always liked him."



SCAVO RESTAURANT



Mary Alice: "Gossip-- it's just a harmless form of recreation. It's careless talk that deals in polite fiction..."



Two of the employees are working behind the counter.



Employee: "I'd love to be assistant manager, but apparently, you have to flirt with Mrs. Scavo to get that job."



WISTERIA LANE



Mary Alice: "It's nasty speculation that's based on not-so-polite fact..."



Two women jog down the sidewalk.



Woman: "He may be dating Edie, but everyone can see he's still in love with Gaby."



They jog past a small garden with a fence, behind which is Edie, hidden from view, reading a book.



OUTSIDE MRS. MCCLUSKEY'S HOUSE



Mary Alice: "How do we protect ourselves from the venomous sting of such idle gossip?"



Mrs. McCluskey is sweeping her sidewalk when a kid on a bicycle rides up.



Kid: "A-are you the lady who kept her husband in her freezer?"



Mary Alice: "The best way is to just tell the truth..."



Mrs. McCluskey: "Yep, that's me. Scary, aren't I?"



The kid looks scared and pedals off.



THE END

关键字:绝望主妇第三季

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