1.

To be on the Safe Side

In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer. A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:

"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"

" Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."

"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."

保证没走错

在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：

"对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗？"

"是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。"

"噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。"

2.

An Abstract Noun

Teacher: What's an abstract noun, Jane?

Jane: I don't know, madam.

Teacher: What, you don't know! Well. It's the name of a thing which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me an example.

Jane: A red-hot poker, madam.

抽象名词

老师：简，什么是抽象名词？

简：我不知道，老师。

老师：什么，你不知道！抽象名词就是你想象得到但触摸不到的东西。现在，你给我举个例子。

简：老师，比如说一根炙热的拨火棍。

3.

Gallant Effort

At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones."

"To sit next to you," he replied gallantly, "would cause any man to lose his appetite."

殷勤

在一次晚餐聚会上，一位腼腆的年青人一直在冥思苦想对女主人说一些好听的话。机会总于来了，女主人转向他说："琼斯先生，您今晚的饭量太小了。"

"坐在您身边，"他殷勤的说道，"任何男人都会失去胃口的。"

4.

It's Not My Fault

Mother (reprimanding her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

不是我的错

妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。

女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
关键字:笑话幽默
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