With these remarks, which were delivered in a much more



animated and earnest manner than is usual in legal gentlemen,



Perker drew his chair to his desk, and listened to Mr. Pickwick's



recital of old Mr. Winkle's obstinacy.



'Give him a week,' said Perker, nodding his head prophetically.



'Do you think he will come round?' inquired Mr. Pickwick.



'I think he will,' rejoined Perker. 'If not, we must try the young



lady's persuasion; and that is what anybody but you would have



done at first.'



Mr. Perker was taking a pinch of snuff with various grotesque



contractions of countenance, eulogistic of the persuasive powers



appertaining unto young ladies, when the murmur of inquiry and



answer was heard in the outer office, and Lowten tapped at the



door.



'Come in!' cried the little man.



The clerk came in, and shut the door after him, with great



mystery.



'What's the matter?' inquired Perker.



'You're wanted, sir.'



'Who wants me?'



Lowten looked at Mr. Pickwick, and coughed.



'Who wants me? Can't you speak, Mr. Lowten?'



'Why, sir,' replied Lowten, 'it's Dodson; and Fogg is with him.'



'Bless my life!' said the little man, looking at his watch, 'I



appointed them to be here at half-past eleven, to settle that matter



of yours, Pickwick. I gave them an undertaking on which they sent



down your discharge; it's very awkward, my dear sir; what will you



do? Would you like to step into the next room?'



The next room being the identical room in which Messrs.



Dodson & Fogg were, Mr. Pickwick replied that he would remain



where he was: the more especially as Messrs. Dodson & Fogg



ought to be ashamed to look him in the face, instead of his being



ashamed to see them. Which latter circumstance he begged Mr.



Perker to note, with a glowing countenance and many marks of



indignation.



'Very well, my dear sir, very well,' replied Perker, 'I can only



say that if you expect either Dodson or Fogg to exhibit any



symptom of shame or confusion at having to look you, or anybody



else, in the face, you are the most sanguine man in your



expectations that I ever met with. Show them in, Mr. Lowten.'



Mr. Lowten disappeared with a grin, and immediately returned



ushering in the firm, in due form of precedence―Dodson first, and



Fogg afterwards.



'You have seen Mr. Pickwick, I believe?' said Perker to Dodson,



inclining his pen in the direction where that gentleman was



seated.



'How do you do, Mr. Pickwick?' said Dodson, in a loud voice.



'Dear me,' cried Fogg, 'how do you do, Mr. Pickwick? I hope



you are well, sir. I thought I knew the face,' said Fogg, drawing up



a chair, and looking round him with a smile.



Mr. Pickwick bent his head very slightly, in answer to these



salutations, and, seeing Fogg pull a bundle of papers from his coat



pocket, rose and walked to the window.



'There's no occasion for Mr. Pickwick to move, Mr. Perker,' said



Fogg, untying the red tape which encircled the little bundle, and



smiling again more sweetly than before. 'Mr. Pickwick is pretty



well acquainted with these proceedings. There are no secrets



between us, I think. He! he! he!'



'Not many, I think,' said Dodson. 'Ha! ha! ha!' Then both the



partners laughed together―pleasantly and cheerfully, as men who



are going to receive money often do.



'We shall make Mr. Pickwick pay for peeping,' said Fogg, with



considerable native humour, as he unfolded his papers. 'The



amount of the taxed costs is one hundred and thirty-three, six,



four, Mr. Perker.'



There was a great comparing of papers, and turning over of



leaves, by Fogg and Perker, after this statement of profit and loss.



Meanwhile, Dodson said, in an affable manner, to Mr. Pickwick―



'I don't think you are looking quite so stout as when I had the



pleasure of seeing you last, Mr. Pickwick.'



'Possibly not, sir,' replied Mr. Pickwick, who had been flashing



forth looks of fierce indignation, without producing the smallest



effect on either of the sharp practitioners; 'I believe I am not, sir. I



have been persecuted and annoyed by scoundrels of late, sir.'



Perker coughed violently, and asked Mr. Pickwick whether he



wouldn't like to look at the morning paper. To which inquiry Mr.



Pickwick returned a most decidednegative.



'True,' said Dodson, 'I dare say you have been annoyed in the



Fleet; there are some odd gentry there. Whereabouts were your



apartments, Mr. Pickwick?'



'My one room,' replied that much-injured gentleman, 'was on



the coffee-room flight.'



'Oh, indeed!' said Dodson. 'I believe that is a very pleasant part



of the establishment.'



'Very,' replied Mr. Pickwick drily.



There was a coolness about all this, which, to a gentleman of an



excitable temperament, had, under the circumstances, rather an



exasperating tendency. Mr. Pickwick restrained his wrath by



gigantic efforts; but when Perker wrote a cheque for the whole



amount, and Fogg deposited it in a small pocket-book, with a



triumphant smile playing over his pimply features, which



communicated itself likewise to the stern countenance of Dodson,



he felt the blood in his cheeks tingling with indignation. 'Now, Mr.



Dodson,' said Fogg, putting up the pocket-book and drawing on



his gloves, 'I am at your service.'



'Very good,' said Dodson, rising; 'I am quite ready.'



'I am very happy,' said Fogg, softened by the cheque, 'to have



had the pleasure of making Mr. Pickwick's acquaintance. I hope



you don't think quite so ill of us, Mr. Pickwick, as when we first



had the pleasure of seeing you.'



'I hope not,' said Dodson, with the high tone of calumniated



virtue. 'Mr. Pickwick now knows us better, I trust; whatever your



opinion of gentlemen of our profession may be, I beg to assure



you, sir, that I bear no ill-will or vindictive feeling towards you for



the sentiments you thought proper to express in our office in



Freeman's Court, Cornhill, on the occasion to which my partner



has referred.'



'Oh, no, no; nor I,' said Fogg, in a most forgiving manner.



'Our conduct, sir,' said Dodson, 'will speak for itself, and justify



itself, I hope, upon every occasion. We have been in the profession



some years, Mr. Pickwick, and have been honoured with the



confidence of many excellent clients. I wish you good-morning,



sir.'



'Good morning, Mr. Pickwick,' said Fogg. So saying, he put his



umbrella under his arm, drew off his right glove, and extended the



hand of reconciliation to that most indignant gentleman; who,



thereupon, thrust his hands beneath his coat tails, and eyed the



attorney with looks of scornful amazement.



'Lowten!' cried Perker, at this moment. 'Open the door.'



'Wait one instant,' said Mr. Pickwick. 'Perker, I will speak.'



'My dear sir, pray let the matter rest where it is,' said the little



attorney, who had been in a state of nervous apprehension during



the whole interview; 'Mr. Pickwick, I beg―'



'I will not be put down, sir,' replied Mr. Pickwick hastily. 'Mr.



Dodson, you have addressed some remarks to me.'



Dodson turned round, bent his head meekly, and smiled.



'Some remarks to me,' repeated Mr. Pickwick, almost



breathless; 'and your partner has tendered me his hand, and you



have both assumed a tone of forgiveness and high-mindedness,



which is an extent of impudence that I was not prepared for, even



in you.'



'What, sir!' exclaimed Dodson.



'What, sir!' reiterated Fogg.



'Do you know that I have been the victim of your plots and



conspiracies?' continued Mr. Pickwick. 'Do you know that I am



the man whom you have been imprisoning and robbing? Do you



know that you were the attorneys for the plaintiff, in Bardell and



Pickwick?'



'Yes, sir, we do know it,' replied Dodson.



'Of course we know it, sir,' rejoined Fogg, slapping his pocket―



perhaps by accident.



'I see that you recollect it with satisfaction,' said Mr. Pickwick,



attempting to call up a sneer for the first time in his life, and



failing most signally in so doing. 'Although I have long been



anxious to tell you, in plain terms, what my opinion of you is, I



should have let even this opportunity pass, in deference to my



friend Perker's wishes, but for the unwarrantable tone you have



assumed, and your insolentfamiliarity. I say insolentfamiliarity,



sir,' said Mr. Pickwick, turning upon Fogg with a fierceness of



gesture which caused that person to retreat towards the door with



great expedition.



'Take care, sir,' said Dodson, who, though he was the biggest



man of the party, had prudently entrenched himself behind Fogg,



and was speaking over his head with a very pale face. 'Let him



assault you, Mr. Fogg; don't return it on any account.'



'No, no, I won't return it,' said Fogg, falling back a little more as



he spoke; to the evident relief of his partner, who by these means



was gradually getting into the outer office.



'You are,' continued Mr. Pickwick, resuming the thread of his



discourse―'you are a well-matched pair of mean, rascally,



pettifogging robbers.'



'Well,' interposed Perker, 'is that all?'



'It is all summed up in that,' rejoined Mr. Pickwick; 'they are



mean, rascally, pettifogging robbers.'



'There!' said Perker, in a most conciliatory tone. 'My dear sirs,



he has said all he has to say. Now pray go. Lowten, is that door



open?'



Mr. Lowten, with a distant giggle, replied in the affirmative.



'There, there―good morning―good morning―now pray, my



dear sirs―Mr. Lowten, the door!' cried the little man, pushing



Dodson & Fogg, nothing loath, out of the office; 'this way, my dear



sirs―now pray don't prolong this―Dear me―Mr. Lowten―the



door, sir―why don't you attend?'



'If there's law in England, sir,' said Dodson, looking towards



Mr. Pickwick, as he put on his hat, 'you shall smart for this.'



'You are a couple of mean―'



'Remember, sir, you pay dearly for this,' said Fogg.



'―Rascally, pettifogging robbers!' continued Mr. Pickwick,



taking not the least notice of the threats that were addressed to



him.



'Robbers!' cried Mr. Pickwick, running to the stair-head, as the



two attorneys descended.



'Robbers!' shouted Mr. Pickwick, breaking from Lowten and



Perker, and thrusting his head out of the staircase window.



When Mr. Pickwick drew in his head again, his countenance



was smiling and placid; and, walking quietly back into the office,



he declared that he had now removed a great weight from his



mind, and that he felt perfectly comfortable and happy.



Perker said nothing at all until he had emptied his snuff-box,



and sent Lowten out to fill it, when he was seized with a fit of



laughing, which lasted five minutes; at the expiration of which



time he said that he supposed he ought to be very angry, but he



couldn't think of the business seriously yet―when he could, he



would be.



'Well, now,' said Mr. Pickwick, 'let me have a settlement with



you.'



'Of the same kind as the last?' inquired Perker, with another



laugh. 'Not exactly,' rejoined Mr. Pickwick, drawing out his



pocket-book, and shaking the little man heartily by the hand, 'I



only mean a pecuniary settlement. You have done me many acts of



kindness that I can never repay, and have no wish to repay, for I



prefer continuing the obligation.'



With this preface, the two friends dived into some very



complicated accounts and vouchers, which, having been duly



displayed and gone through by Perker, were at once discharged by



Mr. Pickwick with many professions of esteem and friendship.



They had no sooner arrived at this point, than a most violent



and startling knocking was heard at the door; it was not an



ordinary double-knock, but a constant and uninterrupted



succession of the loudest single raps, as if the knocker were



endowed with the perpetualmotion, or the person outside had



forgotten to leave off.



'Dear me, what's that?' exclaimed Perker, starting.



'I think it is a knock at the door,' said Mr. Pickwick, as if there



could be the smallest doubt of the fact.



The knocker made a more energetic reply than words could



have yielded, for it continued to hammer with surprising force and



noise, without a moment's cessation.



'Dear me!' said Perker, ringing his bell, 'we shall alarm the inn.



Mr. Lowten, don't you hear a knock?'



'I'll answer the door in one moment, sir,' replied the clerk.



The knocker appeared to hear the response, and to assert that



it was quite impossible he could wait so long. It made a



stupendousuproar.



'It's quite dreadful,' said Mr. Pickwick, stopping his ears.



'Make haste, Mr. Lowten,' Perker called out; 'we shall have the



panels beaten in.'



Mr. Lowten, who was washing his hands in a dark closet,



hurried to the door, and turning the handle, beheld the



appearance which is described in the next chapter.

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