Feeling helpless, xu teared over her face and deeply knew that she had to abort to keep the secret. At the weekends, she went to the hospital and did it. lying on the operating-table and feeling awfullypainful all over the body, she felt extremely regretful and wanted to die.



这次堕胎令许玉萌有了很大改变。上班她早来晚走，沉默寡言，同事们认为她很懂事，都喜欢她；在家里，她变得乖巧孝顺，经常主动帮母亲做家务。母亲还以为她在工作中成熟了，非常惊喜，哪知道自己的宝贝女儿正经历着身心的双重煎熬……



The abortion changed xu a lot. She went to work early and left late, becoming more and more silent and speechless. All the colleagues thought she was considerate and loved her. At home, she became obedient to her mother and did a lot of housework for her. Her mother thought she became mature through work and felt very happy. She never imagined her dear daughter was suffering both physical and mental pain!



然而，麻烦远没有结束，更惨痛的事情还在后头！



Nonetheless, the trouble did not end. Rather, another more tragic thing was in store!







前卫后遗症：



生不如死何处觅未来



The cost of fashionable deeds:



Living for no future



见许玉萌还是单身一人，很多同事和朋友热心地为她介绍男朋友。2008年元旦前，经同事介绍，她认识了在长春市某局工作的刘伟。小伙子长得文质彬彬，是单位的业务骨干，很有发展前途。刘伟非常喜欢漂亮的许玉萌，对她百般呵护。有爱情的滋润，许玉萌苍白的脸色又红润起来，人也越发显得水灵漂亮，她沉浸在幸福的爱情之中。哪知，噩梦随之而来。



Seeing xu was still single, a lot of colleagues and friends introduced some boyfriends for her. on the eve of the new year of 2008, through her colleague's introduction, she knew another official working in Changchun City, Liu wei. Liu was of great manner and the spine of his department. He enjoyed a promising future. He loved xu very much and tried his best to please her. Under the nourishing of love, xu's originally pale face became pink gradually and she was more and more beautiful. She was totally dipped in love and never realized a nightmare was befalling.



4月的一天，上班时，许玉萌发现同事都用异样的眼神看她，她感觉有些不对头。午休时，她从餐厅回办公室，走到门口正好听到里面几个女同事在小声议论，只听刘姐说："别说你们不信，我也没想到呢，许玉萌表面上文文静静的，竟是那样的人。上周，我弟弟来办事正好看见她，说当时就是住在他开的旅馆里，还是他报的警，派出所民警把他们都抓走了。要不是他亲口告诉我，哪能相信女大学生竟然……"



One day in April, xu found her colleagues looking at her with strange expressions in eyes when she entered the office. She felt something was wrong. During the lunch break, she came back to her office from the canteen. Right at the door she heard several female colleagues chatting about her. One said, " believe it or not, I never imagined xu is such kind of person cos she looks pretty quiet and polite in daily life! last week my younger brother came here and saw her, then he told me she had lived in his hotel before. My brother also told me the whole affair. He said he called the police then and they were all taken back to the police station. If my brother had not told me with his own mouth, how could I believe a college student would do such kind of dirty thing?"



许玉萌再也听不进去了，思维好像停顿了，身体软软地靠在墙上……世界上的事情怎么就这么巧？她最忌讳的事情竟然被同事知道了，以后，她怎么面对他们？



Xu could not continue listening. She felt her mind was stuck, leaning on the wall helplessly……why would there be such a coincidence? The thing she always tried to hide should be known to her colleagues! How could she face them in the future?



许玉萌不知如何是好，一个同是新进机关的女同事悄悄对她说了一句话："年轻大学生的生活方式，这些按部就班的机关干部是不可能理解的，你不要太放在心上。"这句话给了她莫大的勇气，让她还能踏进机关的大门。



She had no idea how to address the issue. One new colleague said to her secretly, "Nowadays young college students have their own way of living, which can hardly be understood by the old officials who get used to the routine work. So do not take it to heart!" this statement gave her great courage and she went on working regardless of all the criticism.



许玉萌强迫自己不去想，她安慰自己，也许过一段时间，大家就忘记这事了。从那以后，她更加沉默寡言，低着头不敢看大家，同事大多对她敬而远之。她则默默地祈祷，这件事千万不要传到男朋友耳中。



Xu compelled herself not to think of the past. She soothed herself by thinking that maybe after some time everyone would forget about it. Since then she became more introverted and always dropped down her head and dare not look at others straight. Most colleagues steered clear of her. She prayed sincerely every day that her past would not be transmitted to her boyfriend' ears.



五一节前夕，在单位评选业务能手时，单位领导认为许玉萌年轻能干，业务水平高，打算把这项荣誉给她。得知消息后，一个女同事跑到领导的办公室公开放言："如果你们把这个荣誉给予生活作风腐化堕落、影响单位形象的人，我就往上告……"领导最后把这个荣誉给了别的同事。后来，这件事被人添油加醋地传得沸沸扬扬。这时候，许玉萌才痛苦地意识到：丑闻总是永恒的，一到合适的时机，就会被人翻出来炒一炒！



On the eve of Labor's Day, xu's department was electing the best performer in the past year, and the leader thought she was young and had accomplished more tasks than others, hence he was meant to give this honor to her. Hearing the news, one of xu's colleague went straight to the leader's office and said to him, " if you give this honor to xu such a corrupt person who has a negativeimpact on our image, I would report it to senior leaders!" At last, the leader had to give the honor to another colleague. Afterwards, this affair was ridiculously transferred among all the people around. Not until then did xu miserably realize that scandal was eternal and that when time came it would be recalled and overstated by everyone!



许玉萌最担心的事情终于发生了。一天刚下班，她就接到刘伟的电话，让她立即赶到卓展门口。电话中，他的语气很愤怒，与往常完全不一样。当她满腹狐疑地赶到时，刘伟已经等在那里。他劈头质问："你被派出所抓过，到底是怎么回事？听说你们男女大学生混居，你到底都干过什么？"



The thing xu most concerned about occurred at last. One day after work, she received a call from her boyfriend who asked her to a place. She could sense his anger through his tone which was downright different from normal. At her arrival, he shouted at her, " it is said that you have been arrested by the police. What the hell is it? it is also said that you lived with a boy in the past. What on earth did you do?"



许玉萌既紧张又害怕，语无伦次地回答："你听我解释，那时是我不懂事，自从和你交往后，我的心里就只有你，我所有的一切都已经为你改变……"



Xu was very nervous as well as fearful, saying incoherently, "Please listen to my explanation. I was immature at that time, so I did commit a mistake. But since I fell in love with you, you are all in my heart and I have change everything for you……"



刘伟绝望地说："你在我心中是那样完美，没想到你竟做出这样伤风败俗的事情。你太让我失望了！"



But her boyfriend said desperately, "In the past you were ideal in my heart. I never imagined you would do such a filthy thing! You desperately let me down!"



许玉萌拉着刘伟乞求说："那件事发生后，我一直在后悔。我发誓，在那以后，我再也没有做过傻事……"



Xu held his hands tightly and begged, "Since that incident, I have been regretting all the time. I swear I did not do anything silly since then!"



刘伟摇着头痛苦地说："什么都别说了。就算我能原谅你，我的家人也不可能接纳你！这事还是我妈妈听人说了让我来问你的，就是想瞒也瞒不住呀！"说完，他转身离去……



He shook his head bitterly and said, "Shout up your mouth! Even if I could forgive you, my family would not accept you! My mum heard about your past and asked me to ask you. It is impossible to cover it!" Then he turned round and left……



男友与她分手，许玉萌在精神上受了很大的打击，回到家后不吃不喝，整天以泪洗面。父母再三追问，她哭着道出了实情。父母感到非常气愤和痛心。可是，事情已经发生了，痛苦不堪的女儿也知道错了，如果还责骂她，万一她想不开做傻事怎么办？父母很担心，他们强压住心头的怒火安慰她：凡事都会过去的，不要再想了……



Since the departure of her boyfriend, xu was fatally stricken down in spirit and teared cats and dogs without eating the least. After her parents asked her again and again, she finally spilled out everything to them. Her parents felt considerably angry and heartbroken, but since the tragedy had happened and their daughter confessed her sin, they were reluctant to reproach her for fear that she might do something silly to terminate her life. They merely tried their best to soothe her by saying that everything would soon become the past and she should look forward.



以后，许玉萌再也没去上班，她无法面对机关的同事。父母怕时间长了被单位辞退，将会更加被动，只得替她办理了辞职手续。



Afterwards, xu did not went to work any more. She could not face her colleagues. Her parents helped her resign for fear that she would be fired and became more passive.



失去爱情，丢了工作，到处都是白眼和嘲讽，许玉萌的思想顿时走进了死胡同，觉得自己的人生走到了尽头。6月2日下午2时，趁父母上班去了，她写好遗书，打开家中煤气……



Having lost love and job and bathing in endless supercilious looks and taunts, xu totally broke down and felt she was reaching the end of life. At 2 pm in the afternoon of June 2nd, after finishing a posthumous letter, she turned on the coal gas……



也许是命不该绝，许玉萌的母亲这天刚巧提前下班，回到家打开门就闻到一股浓浓的煤气味。她立即冲进屋里将女儿抱出来，送到吉林大学第一医院急诊室。经过抢救，许玉萌脱离了危险，但身体极度虚弱，精神萎靡不振。



Maybe she was destined not to die so early. Her mother arrived at home ahead of time and smelled a strong gas after opening the door. She dashed to the room and lifted her daughter outside and sent her to the hospital. Through intensive rescue, she finally went out of danger, but she was extremely frail and in low spirits.



看着原本如花似玉的女儿变成半死不活的样子，母亲心痛不已。她哭着对玉萌说："孩子，过去的都已经过去了，你不要这样。妈妈爸爸就你这么一个女儿，你如果离开我们，我们下半辈子还有什么希望？无论如何，对我们来说，你都是最重要的。要不，咱们离开长春，到一个新的地方重新开始。好吗？"



Witnessing the original flower-like daughter become so abject, her mother was more than heartbroken. She cried to xu with tears flooding, " my dear, all has passed and you should pull yourself together! Your dad and I just have you such a daughter. If you leave us, how can we live on for the rest of our lives? Anyway, you are all to us. Shall we leave for another place to start our new life?"



许玉萌看着母亲的泪眼和愁容，忍不住痛哭失声："妈妈，我已经悔过了，为什么他们都不能原谅我？难道因为一时的过错，就要让我付出一生的代价吗？"



Seeing her mother's tears and miserable expressions on face, xu burst into tears and said, "Mum, I have regretted. But why don't they forgive me? Should I lose all my happiness because of my unconscious mistake?"



母女俩抱头痛哭，然而又一筹莫展！许玉萌的母亲跟笔者认识，请求笔者帮忙劝慰女儿。



They hugged together and teared heavily without any idea. Xu's mother was acquainted with me, so she asked me for help.



其实，许玉萌现在最大的顾虑就是被大家鄙薄。事实上，人们大多持一种看客心态，如果知道她已经忏悔，并承受着这样的痛苦，人们也会于心不忍的。于是，我安慰许玉萌，时间会冲淡一切，也会改变一切，所以决不能就此绝望；等过几年回过头来看这一切，也许就会觉得今日的困境根本不值一提……



Actually, xu's key concern is the public's scorn. In fact, if most people just hold an attitude of seeing. If they know she has already confessed and is bearing great pain, they will not continue to blame her. Therefore, I comforted xu that time would wash away everything and change her life, so she should not despair. Maybe after several years, when she looks back to present moment, she may think it is nothing serious at all……



许玉萌说："你说得有道理，可是我不能想象未来。我现在一出门，别人就斜着眼睛看我，我没有犯法，也没有伤害别人，可为什么大家要这样对我呢？"



Xu said to me, " you are right, but I dare not think of my future. Now once I step out of my house, everyone stares at me with strange looks. I did not break the law and hurt others, why do they treat me like this?"



笔者也无语。是呀，社会有自己的道德取向，它就像一张无形的网，被它捕获的，总是痛苦难当！



I was speechless then. Needless to say, every society has its own morale standard. It is like an intangible net. Once one was caught by it, he or she has to suffer tremendously!



2008年6月末，在父母的精心照料下，许玉萌已经调养好身体，她准备到一个无人认识她的城市找一份工作，重新开始……



At the end of June, 2008, under the delicate care of her parents, xu recovered a great deal and planned to move to another city to find a job and begin her new life……



长春市著名社会学教授赵茉对此事发表了看法：现在很多大学毕业生在毕业前夕，面临着走出象牙塔、即将步入社会、必须找工作等一系列压力，他们心灵极度空虚和恐慌，会寻找一些所谓时尚浪漫的事情去化解压力。如果这些行为与社会道德取向不符，其结果会直接影响和改变自己的命运。这不能不引起人们的深思和警惕啊！



A famous professor majoring in sociology expresses her point based on this tragedy: Nowadays many college students face enormous pressure of find a job right before they are going to graduation and leave campus. They feel extremely empty and panic in heart, thereby they will try to find something dubbed fashion or romance to release the stress. But if their deeds are not in accordance with social morale, the consequence may directly affect even change their own destiny. It should be paid enough attention to by us!

关键字:英语翻译

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