Bree: "You know what? I politely rejected you and now you're getting your revenge by embarrassing me."



Detective Barton: "You've had too much to drink. Give me your keys."



Bree: "I am not giving you anything. Except the bill."



Bree gets up and grabs the cash she had put on the bill.



Bree's Car



Bree is driving home. Her car is slightly weaving on the road. Behind her is a police car. The police siren signals her to stop. She pulls over. Detective Barton gets out of the police car and approaches Bree's car.



Bree: "What do you think you're doing?"



Detective Barton: "I followed you to make sure you were okay. You were weaving. Please step out of the car."



Bree: "You can't be serious."



Detective Barton: "Out."



Bree gets out of the car.



Bree: "Detective, I am not drunk, and I am not stupid. I know exactly what this is all about."



Detective Barton: "I'm gonna need you to take a sobriety test."



Bree: "A sobriety test? I'm not taking any sobriety test. This behavior stems from the hurt feelings of a man with very low self-esteem. The world is a big place, and I'm sure there is a woman out there somewhere who'll respond to your macho posturing."



Detective Barton: "Well, here's hoping."



Detective Barton pulls out handcuffs and cuffs Bree's hands behind her back.



Gabrielle's House



Gabrielle's laptop sits on the counter behind her and Carlos.



Gabrielle: "Baby, what you're about to see will most likely shock and upset you."



Carlos: "Okay."



Gabrielle: "Remember Scott, the photographer I was dating when we met? The one I dumped for you, who never really got over it and who I always said was gonna get back at me?"



Carlos: "Mm hmm."



Gabrielle: "Oh, Carlos, I love you so much."



Carlos: "Move. What is this?"



Gabrielle: "Scott's web site with pictures of me on it. Well, say something."



Carlos: "Oh, my god."



Gabrielle: "It was supposed to be funny, a naughty little Christmas gift for my boyfriend."



Carlos: "Oh, my god!"



Gabrielle: "I know, I was freakishly flexible back then. I'm sorry! Look, what are we gonna do about this?"



Carlos: "I guess I'll call my lawyers."



Gabrielle: "I gave these pictures to him as a gift. He owns them."



Carlos: "Then I guess we're screwed."



Gabrielle: "Not necessarily. See, here's what I'm thinking. Scott's a coward, so you could totally put the scare into him. All you gotta do is go and rough him up, and he'll take my pictures off the web site like that."



Carlos: "I'm sorry, but this is your mistake. You're gonna have to fix it yourself."



Gabrielle: "And I would love to, but I have the upper body strength of a kitten. I need a brute!"



Carlos: "Gaby, I am just now starting to get my rage issues under control. This brute doesn't swing that way anymore, so go find another."



Gabrielle: "Well, when you left prison, did they leave you a contact list?"



Hospital MRI Room



A technician removes the dust cover from the machine. He folds it and places it on the back of a chair. Later, Susan and the technician enter the room.



Susan: "So is Dr. Ron gonna be here for this?"



MRI Technician: "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, there's a hook on the wall there so go ahead and get your stuff hung up and, uh, just get comfy. Dr. Ron should be here pretty soon."



Susan: "Okay."



The technician leaves. Susan hangs up her purse and removes her jacket.



Later, Susan is standing in her bra and panties trying to figure out how to put on the dust cover from the machine. The technician watches her through a one-way glass. Dr. Ron enters the technician's room.



Dr. Ron: "Is she trying to put on the dust cover?"



MRI Technician: "Yep."



Dr. Ron: "How long are we gonna let this go on?"



MRI Technician: "Just a few more minutes."



Dr. Ron (over the speaker): "Hi, uh, Susan? It's Dr. Ron. You don't have to get undressed for this."



Susan: "Oh, uh, I, I, uh, then why did you put out a gown?"



Dr. Ron: "No, no, it's not a gown. It's, uh, it's the dust cover for the MRI machine."



Later, Susan is on the bed of the MRI machine. She is slowly entering the machine.



Dr. Ron (over the speaker): "This should take about forty-five minutes. Now I know it's really cramped and uncomfortable in there, but try not to move. Susan, I realize that this whole process must be troubling for you."



Susan: "Yeah, it's pretty troubling."



Dr. Ron: "Well, we're gonna get to the bottom of this. And I'll be here for you, okay?"



Susan: "Hey, Dr. Ron? I just have a feeling that everything's gonna turn out fine. And when it does, I'd like to buy you dinner to celebrate my health. You know, I was thinking maybe Italian? Oh, what the heck, maybe we can call it a date. If you like. Dr. Ron?"



MRI Technician: "He left awhile ago. He got a phone call from his girlfriend."



Susan: "Oh. Okay. Thank you. I'd like to get out now."



MRI Technician: "Try not to move."



Outside Gabrielle's House



Gardeners Luis and Ralph are trimming the hedges with electric trimmers. Carlos comes out for the paper. Gabrielle comes out with her yoga mat.



Gabrielle: "Good morning, Luis, Ralph."



Ralph and Luis: "Good morning, Mrs. Solis."



Gabrielle: "Good morning, honey."



Carlos: "Hey, you're talking to me again."



Gabrielle: "Well, I thought about what you said about the pictures and you're right. It was my mistake and I have to live with it."



Carlos goes inside. Gabrielle spreads her yoga mat on the porch. Carlos, inside, sits down to read the paper in the living room. He sees Gabrielle outside the front window. She removes all of her clothes and begins to do her yoga naked. The gardeners stop working to watch her and Carlos runs outside.



Carlos: "What the hell are you doing?"



Gabrielle: "I'm living with it!"



Carlos (to the gardeners): "Hey, turn around and keep gardening!"



Gabrielle: "Aw, you're so mean."



Carlos: "Put your clothes on right now."



Gabrielle: "Why? You either care if men leer at me or not. And you made it clear that you don't. So what's the point?"



Carlos: "Gabrielle, I am not beating this guy up for you!"



Gabrielle: "Then you better think of another way to get my pictures back. Because if you don't, people on Wisteria Lane are gonna be seeing a lot more of me! Ralph, Luis, feast your eyes!"



Ralph and Luis stare. Ralph hits Luis' hand with the hedge trimmer that's on.



Luis: "Ah! My finger! Ah!"



Ralph drops to the ground.



Ralph: "I'll find it!"



Luis: "Ah, my finger!"



Ralph: "It's gotta be here somewhere. I'll look for it, man. Don't worry, man. I'll find it."



Luis: "Oh, my finger!"



Lynette's House



Lynette is sitting on her couch, lost in deep concentration. Tom comes downstairs wearing a face mask and gloves.



Tom: "Hey, honey, good news. I checked on Penny, and she didn't scream. I think she's getting used to the mask."



Lynette: "I don't want you to have options, Tom. If I die, I want to hear your life would be over. I want you to spend the rest of your life screaming, 'it should've been me on that plane!'"



Tom: "Plane?"



Lynette: "I'm assuming there was a crash. It could've been something else."



Tom: "Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait."



Lynette: "Do you have any idea how painful it is to hear about you even think about your next wife and kids? I could never do that! I can't imagine my life without you. You are my everything!"



Tom: "Honey, you're my everything."



Lynette: "Okay, well, that's easy to say, but I need you to show me."



Tom: "How?"



Lynette: "With a vasectomy."



Tom: "Can't I just get you some flowers?"



Lynette: "Look, it makes perfect sense. We're not gonna have any more kids. And, and the pill just makes me bloat. It'll be great!"



Tom: "No, okay, Lynette, this is crazy."



Lynette: "Oh, I know! I know! But it is what married people do. They go out of their way to calm each other's irrational fears. Oh, come on, Tom. I really need you to do this."



Tom: "Okay. Fine, yeah. I'll make an appointment."



Lynette: "Thank you."



County Jail



Bree is sitting in a holding cell with another woman who is dressed very scantily.



Prostitute: "Hey, can I ask you something?"



Bree: "I'd rather you didn't."



Prostitute: "How'd you get started?"



Bree: "Started?"



Prostitute: "You know, in the escort business?"



Bree: "I beg your pardon."



Prostitute: "I bet the guys go crazy with your whole classy, repressed thing you got going on, huh? I mean, your skin has, like, no pores."



Bree: "I am not sure, but I think there was a compliment in there somewhere, so thank you. But I am not an escort."



Prostitute: "How much you charge a night?"



Bree: "Look, I...five thousand."



Prostitute: "Whoa. What do you have to do exactly for five grand?"



Bree just smiles. An officer approaches and unlocks the cell.



Officer: "All right. Bail cleared. You're free to go. Your car's at the impound lot. And you can pick it up in the morning."



Bree: "Well, how am I supposed to get home? I don't have any money."



Officer: "Call a friend."



Bree: "I have been through enough humiliation for one day. I hope you have a better suggestion than that."



Officer: "Okay, well, let me think, um, walk."



Streets - Nighttime



Bree is walking home on a dark street. Her heel breaks.



Bree: "Oh, for goodness sakes!"



She takes off her shoes and walks barefoot. An SUV pulls up next to her and honks. It's Betty.



Betty: "Bree? Is everything okay?"



Bree: "Oh, oh, I'm, I'm fine. I just, um, had a flat tire."



Betty: "It's your lucky day. I'm a whiz at changing tires. Hop in."



Bree: "You know, thank you, but I think it's actually something more mechanical. My car has been making just a terrible noise."



Betty: "Well, I have auto club. Come on."



Bree: "Actually, my car has been impounded by the police."



Wisteria Lane - Nighttime



Betty's car pulls up to Bree's house.



Bree: "Thanks, Betty, and, um, I'd appreciate it if you could keep this little incident to yourself."



Betty: "I won't say a word. I swear."



Bree: "Well, that's good to hear, because most people on this street couldn't keep a secret if their lives depended on it."



Betty: "Well, Bree, even if everyone does find out, it's no big deal. I mean, lots of people have D.U.Is."



Bree: "Yes, but the difference is most of those people were actually drunk when they were arrested. I was not."



Betty: "Well, of course."



Bree: "You know, you sound like you don't believe me."



Betty: "Well, um, it's just, I know you've gone through a lot lately. The death of your husband, problems with your son. It would only be natural if you did self-medicate."



Bree: "I'm sorry, but since when do you know so much about my personal life?"



Betty: "Bree, it's like you said. People on this street are not great at keeping secrets."



Bree: "Except for you. You're really good at it."



Betty: "I beg your pardon?"



Bree: "Well, you moved into your house in the middle of the night. God knows what you moved in that you didn't want anybody to see. People hear sounds coming at all hours from there. And, oh, what was the last one? Oh, right. They found a dead body in front of your home. Everybody talks about the Applewhites, but nobody can figure out exactly what you people are hiding. So congratulations. Your secrets are safe for now."



Bree gets out of Betty's car and slams the door. Betty reaches for her cell phone.



Betty (on the phone): "Edie? Hi, it's Betty Applewhite. Yeah, I'm sorry to call you so late but, um, I really need to meet with you first thing in the morning. Yes. Well, I've decided to sell my house."



Outside Susan's House - Daytime



Susan opens her door and finds Dr. Ron.



Susan: "Dr. Ron? What are you doing here?"



Dr. Ron: "Uh, we need to talk. It's not the kind of talk we can have over the phone."



Susan: "Oh, are you sure? Um, because I would look a lot better over the phone right now."



Dr. Ron: "Um, Susan, your, uh, your test results came back."



Susan's House



She and Dr. Ron are having coffee.



Dr. Ron: "And for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Now based on the, on the symptoms you were describing..."



Susan: "Symptoms?"



Dr. Ron: "Yeah, the dizziness, the tingling, the muscle spasms, the chills, it could be neurological. It also could be based on an autoimmune disorder. I just, frankly, I'm, I'm stumped."



Susan: "Oh, no, no, no, no."



Dr. Ron: "Hey, listen, we're gonna get through this, okay?"



Susan: "I am so sorry. But I am not sick."



Dr. Ron: "What are you talking about?"



Susan: "Your nurse wouldn't let me see you, and I really wanted to see you, so I sort of faked all my symptoms. The dizziness, the chills, you know, all of it."



Dr. Ron: "Why, why would you do something like that? What the hell is wrong with you?"



Susan: "I know. I know. I feel really awful. I am just not the best at meeting men. And I thought you were cute, and I sort of thought that maybe you thought I was cute, and you're a doctor, and that's so sexy."



Dr. Ron: "So I was up all night worried sick, digging through medical books, trying to figure out some mysterious disease that doesn't really exist?"



Susan: "Really? You were up all night?"



Dr. Ron: "Yes. I don't enjoy telling people I think they're going to die. Especially not people I like."



Susan: "You like me?"



Dr. Ron: "Yes."



Susan: "What about your girlfriend?"



Dr. Ron: "What girlfriend?"



Susan: "The one who called in the MRI room?"



Dr. Ron: "We had one date. She wanted a referral to a dermatologist. She's got eczema."



Dr. Ron walks out the door to his car. Susan runs after him.



Susan: "Oh. Maybe we could go out sometime?"



Dr. Ron: "Do you like sushi?"



Susan: "I love sushi. I'm available tomorrow night."



Dr. Ron: "No, no, no, tomorrow's no good. I'll still be angry. I should be cooled down by Friday."



Susan: "Oh, uh, Friday's good."



Dr. Ron gets in his car.



Dr. Ron: "Oh, there's one thing. Your MRI showed that you have a wandering spleen."



Susan: "A what?"



Dr. Ron: "It's a wandering spleen. It's no big deal. Sometimes the thing just moves around in there. But we'll keep an eye on it."



Dr. Ron drives off.



Susan: "Wandering what?"



Outside Scott's Studio



Carlos and Gabrielle pull up in the parking lot.



Gabrielle: "Okay, go get him, tiger."



Carlos: "I can't do it, Gaby."



Gabrielle: "What?"



Carlos: "I can't go in there. I thought I could, but I can't."



Gabrielle: "You promised!"



Carlos: "Ever since I got out of prison, I've been trying to lead a better life. And for the first time, I can honestly say that I'm a good Catholic, and I don't want to ruin that."



Gabrielle: "So, do this today and go to an extra long mass tomorrow."



Carlos: "It doesn't work that way."



Gabrielle: "Okay, look, I'm really trying to understand your moral dilemma here, I am. But if you don't get my pictures back, I'm gonna be humiliated. You think our gardener is the only local perv surfing the web?"



Carlos: "I'm sorry, Gabrielle."



Gabrielle: "You used to go crazy when men would so much as look at me the wrong way and that's when I had clothes on."



Carlos: "I'm trying to be better than that now."



Gabrielle: "Or maybe you just don't love me as much as you used to."



Carlos: "Why can't you just let me be a good person? You know, if you really loved me, you wouldn't even ask me to go in there."



Gabrielle: "If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask! Fine, forget it."



Carlos: "Really?"



Gabrielle: "Be a good person. Knock yourself out."



Carlos: "It's not that I don't love you. I-"



Gabrielle: "Yeah, okay, look, let's just go home."



Carlos takes off his seat belt and begins getting out of the car.



Gabrielle: "What are you doing?"



Carlos: "I'm getting your pictures back. I'm not gonna hurt him. I'll talk to him, appeal to his better nature."



Scott's Studio



Carlos walks in.



Scott: "Can I help you?"



Carlos: "I'm Carlos Solis. You have, uh, naked pictures of my wife on your web site."



Scott: "Oh. You're, uh, Gabrielle's husband? Well, you know what? I was just about to take those off anyway."



Carlos: "Oh. That's great. I really appreciate this, Scott."



Scott: "Hey, no problem. To tell you the truth, Gabrielle's pages weren't exactly raking in the big bucks for me."



Carlos: "I find that hard to believe."



Scott: "I'm not saying Gabrielle's not a pretty girl. Of course she is. But, uh, she ain't exactly internet pretty, you know?"



Carlos: "What does that mean?"



Scott: "The web's about fantasy, not fashion. I mean, guys surfing for porn, they don't care how the clothes are hanging off the body. They just want to see the goods. So, uh, if little miss nasty ain't rocking some curves..."



Carlos: "My wife has a perfect figure."



Scott: "Don't get me wrong, yeah. Our little Gaby knows how to, uh, work a runway, but, uh, when it comes to cyber loving? No real man's gonna waste tissue on that. There you go. That's all of 'em. So, we cool now?"



Outside Scott's Studio



Scott crashes through the window. Carlos comes out flexing his fist. Gabrielle smiles.



Gabrielle: "Now that's my guy."



Lynette's House



Tom walks in.



Lynette: "Hey."



Tom: "Hey."



Lynette: You're not limping. Did everything go okay?"



Tom: "I couldn't do it."



Lynette: "What happened?"



Tom: "I don't know. I got there, I, I put on the paper gown and I, uh, I just couldn't do it."



Lynette: "Why not?"



Tom: "It felt like I was being emasculated."



Lynette: "Oh, please."



Tom: "I'm serious, Lynette. I don't make the money around here anymore. I don't provide for you and the kids. And I wasn't gonna let them snip out the last thing that makes me a man."



Lynette: "Staying home and taking care of the kids doesn't make you less of a man. That's crazy."



Tom: "You expect me to calm your irrational fears. I expect you to calm mine."



Lynette: "Are you saying you're unhappy?"



Tom: "A little bit, yeah."



Lynette: "Well, what we gonna do about that?"



Tom: "I don't know."



Lynette: "Well, can't we just-?"



Tom: "No, Lynette. I don't know."



Tom goes upstairs.



Bree's House - Nighttime



Bree comes in with a grocery bag and pushes the answering machine play button.



Detective Barton (on the machine): "Hi, it's Detective Barton. Look I feel awful about what happened the other day. I was a jerk, so to make it up to you, I did some sniffing around about the dead man they found in front of your neighbor's house. I got some information. His name was Curtis Monroe. A private detective who lost his license a couple years ago. He's apparently from Chicago. Now, I don't know if any of this is helpful but... "



Bree stops the tape and rewinds.



Detective Barton: "...couple of years ago. He's apparently from Chicago. Now, I don't know if any of this is helpful, but I just feel terrible about what happened."



Lynette's House - Nighttime



"Illness can take on many forms. Those of the body are easy to treat. Much more difficult are the hidden maladies that fester in our hearts."



Lynette is applying lotion to all her kids with chicken pox. She turns and looks at Tom.



Ralph's House - Nighttime



Ralph is looking at websites on his computer.



"The secret addictions that consume our souls."



Outside Bree's House - Nighttime



Bree is on her front porch drinking wine.



"And the diseases we deny which affect our judgment."



Hospital



Dr. Ron sees Susan waiting for him and smiles. Susan hands him a basket of muffins.



"To survive we need to find that special someone who can heal us."



Noah's House



A nurse is changing the intravenous needle on Noah's arm.



Noah: "I worked so hard on my life, so hard. Now it's all nothing. I've got one daughter I hate, one who hates me. And one dead before her time. No one left for me now. Ah, what did I do it for?"



He looks at his arm and sees the nurse is done inserting the needle.



Noah: "That was good. I didn't feel a thing. I have enough pain. I don't need anymore."



"But we can never predict who have the cure for what ails us."



Nurse: "The other nurses all warned me you were difficult, Mr. Taylor."



"Or when they'll show up."



Mrs. Tilman: "But I think we're gonna get along just fine."



~ The End ~

关键字:绝望主妇第二季

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