thyself up
bravely, for the news is sad, I wot. Thus it is:
I hear that two
tinkers are in the stocks for drinking
ale and beer!"
"Now a murrain seize thee and thy news, thou scurvy dog,"
quoth the Tinker, "for thou speakest but ill of good men.
But sad news it is indeed, gin there be two stout fellows
in the stocks."
"Nay," said Robin, "thou hast missed the mark and dost but weep
for the wrong sow. The
sadness of the news lieth in that there be
but two in the stocks, for the others do roam the country at large."
"Now by the pewter
platter of Saint Dunstan," cried the Tinker, "I have
a good part of a mind to baste thy hide for thine ill jest.
But gin men be put in the stocks for drinking ale and beer,
I trow thou wouldst not lose thy part."
Loud laughed Robin and cried, "Now well taken, Tinker, well taken!
Why, thy wits are like beer, and do froth up most when they grow sour!
But right art thou, man, for I love ale and beer right well.
Therefore come
straightway with me hard by to the Sign of the Blue Boar,
and if thou drinkest as thou appearest--and I wot thou wilt not belie
thy looks--I will
drench thy
throat with as good homebrewed as ever
was tapped in all broad Nottinghamshire."
"Now by my faith," said the Tinker, "thou art a right good fellow
in spite of thy scurvy jests. I love thee, my sweet chuck,
and gin I go not with thee to that same Blue Boar thou mayst
call me a heathen."
"Tell me thy news, good friend, I prythee," quoth Robin as they
trudged along together, "for
tinkers, I ween, are all as full
of news as an egg of meat."
"Now I love thee as my brother, my bully blade," said the Tinker,
"else I would not tell thee my news; for sly am I, man, and I
have in hand a grave
undertaking that doth call for all my wits,
for I come to seek a bold
outlaw that men, hereabouts, call
Robin Hood. Within my pouch I have a
warrant, all fairly written out
on
parchment, forsooth, with a great red seal for to make it lawful.
Could I but meet this same Robin Hood I would serve it upon his
dainty body, and if he
minded it not I would beat him till every
one of his ribs would cry Amen. But thou livest hereabouts,
mayhap thou knowest Robin Hood thyself, good fellow."
"Ay, marry, that I do somewhat," quoth Robin, "and I have seen him this
very morn. But, Tinker, men say that he is but a sad, sly thief.
Thou hadst better watch thy
warrant, man, or else he may steal it
out of thy very pouch."
"Let him but try!" cried the Tinker. "Sly may he be,
but sly am I, too. I would I had him here now, man to man!"
And he made his heavy
cudgel to spin again. "But what manner
of man is he, lad?
"Much like myself," said Robin, laughing, "and in
height and build
and age nigh the same; and he hath blue eyes, too."
"Nay," quoth the Tinker, "thou art but a green youth.
I thought him to be a great bearded man. Nottingham men
feared him so."
"Truly, he is not so old nor so stout as thou art," said Robin. "But men
do call him a right deft hand at quarterstaff."
"That may be," said the Tinker right sturdily, "but I am more
deft than he, for did I not
overcome Simon of Ely in a fair
bout in the ring at Hertford Town? But if thou knowest him,
my jolly blade, wilt thou go with me and bring me to him?
Fourscore bright angels hath the Sheriff promised me if I serve
the
warrant upon the knave's body, and ten of them will I give
to thee if thou showest me him."
"Ay, that will I," quoth Robin, "but show me thy
warrant, man, until I
see whether it be good or no."
"That will I not do, even to mine own brother," answered the Tinker. "No man
shall see my
warrant till I serve it upon yon fellow's own body."
"So be it," quoth Robin. "And thou show it not to me I know not to whom
thou wilt show it. But here we are at the Sign of the Blue Boar,
so let us in and taste his brown October."
No sweeter inn could be found in all Nottinghamshire than that
of the Blue Boar. None had such lovely trees
standing around,
or was so covered with trailing clematis and sweet woodbine;
none had such good beer and such humming ale; nor, in wintertime,
when the north wind howled and snow drifted around the hedges,
was there to be found,
elsewhere, such a roaring fire as blazed upon
the
hearth of the Blue Boar. At such times might be found a goodly
company of yeomen or country folk seated around the blazing
hearth,
bandying merry jests, while roasted crabs[2] bobbed in bowls
of ale upon the
hearthstone. Well known was the inn to Robin Hood
and his band, for there had he and such merry
companions
as Little John or Will Stutely or young David of Doncaster
often gathered when all the forest was filled with snow.
As for mine host, he knew how to keep a still tongue in his head,
and to
swallow his words before they passed his teeth, for he knew
very well which side of his bread was spread with butter,
for Robin and his band were the best of
customers and paid
their scores without having them chalked up behind the door.
So now, when Robin Hood and the Tinker came
thereto and called
aloud for two great pots of ale, none would have known from look
or speech that the host had ever set eyes upon the
outlaw before.
[2] Small sour apples.
"Bide thou here," quoth Robin to the Tinker, "while I go
and see that mine host draweth ale from the right butt,
for he hath good October, I know, and that brewed by Withold
of Tamworth." So
saying, he went within and whispered to the host
to add a
measure of Flemish strong waters to the good English ale;
which the latter did and brought it to them.
"By Our Lady," said the Tinker, after a long
draught of the ale,
"yon same Withold of Tamworth--a right good Saxon name, too, I would
have thee know--breweth the most humming ale that e'er passed the lips
of Wat o' the Crabstaff."
"Drink, man, drink," cried Robin, only wetting his own lips meanwhile.
"Ho,
landlord! Bring my friend another pot of the same.
And now for a song, my jolly blade."
"Ay, that will I give thee a song, my lovely fellow,"
quoth the Tinker, "for I never tasted such ale in all my days before.
By Our Lady, it doth make my head hum even now! Hey, Dame Hostess,
come listen, an thou wouldst hear a song, and thou too,
thou bonny lass, for never sing I so well as when bright eyes
do look upon me the while."
Then he sang an ancient
ballad of the time of good King Arthur,
called "The Marriage of Sir Gawaine," which you may some time read yourself,
in stout English of early times; and as he sang, all listened
to that noble tale of noble
knight and his sacrifice to his king.
But long before the Tinker came to the last verse his tongue began to trip
and his head to spin, because of the strong waters mixed with the ale.
First his tongue tripped, then it grew thick of sound; then his head
wagged from side to side, until at last he fell asleep as though
he never would waken again.
Then Robin Hood laughed aloud and quickly took the
warrantfrom out the Tinker's pouch with his deft fingers.
"Sly art thou, Tinker," quoth he, "but not yet, I bow,
art thou as sly as that same sly thief Robin Hood."
Then he called the host to him and said, "Here, good man, are ten
broad shillings for the
entertainment thou hast given us this day.
See that thou takest good care of thy fair guest there, and when he wakes
thou mayst again
charge him ten shillings also, and if he hath it not,
thou mayst take his bag and
hammer, and even his coat, in payment.
Thus do I
punish those that come into the
greenwood to deal dole to me.
As for thine own self, never knew I
landlord yet that would not
chargetwice an he could."
At this the host smiled slyly, as though
saying to himself the
rustic saw,
"Teach a magpie to suck eggs."
The Tinker slept until the afternoon drew to a close and
the shadows grew long beside the
woodland edge, then he awoke.
First he looked up, then he looked down, then he
looked east, then he looked west, for he was
gathering his
wits together, like
barley straws blown apart by the wind.
First he thought of his merry
companion, but he was gone.
Then he thought of his stout crabstaff, and that he had within
his hand. Then of his
warrant, and of the
fourscore angels
he was to gain for serving it upon Robin Hood. He
thrust his
hand into his pouch, but not a scrap nor a
farthing was there.
Then he
sprang to his feet in a rage.
"Ho,
landlord!" cried he, "whither hath that knave gone that was
with me but now?"
"What knave meaneth Your Worship?" quoth the
landlord,
calling the
Tinker Worship to
soothe him, as a man would pour oil upon angry water.
"I saw no knave with Your Worship, for I swear no man would dare call
that man knave so nigh to Sherwood Forest. A right stout
yeoman I
saw with Your Worship, but I thought that Your Worship knew him,
for few there be about here that pass him by and know him not."
"Now, how should I, that ne'er have squealed in your sty,
know all the swine
therein? Who was he, then, an thou knowest
him so well?"
"Why, yon same is a right stout fellow whom men hereabouts do call
Robin Hood, which same--"
"Now, by'r Lady!" cried the Tinker
hastily, and in a deep voice
like an angry bull, "thou didst see me come into thine inn, I,
a staunch, honest craftsman, and never told me who my company was,
well
knowing thine own self who he was. Now, I have a right
round piece of a mind to crack thy knave's pate for thee!"
Then he took up his
cudgel and looked at the
landlord as though
he would smite him where he stood.
"Nay," cried the host, throwing up his elbow, for he feared the blow,
"how knew I that thou knewest him not?"
"Well and truly
thankful mayst thou be," quoth the Tinker, "that I
be a patient man and so do spare thy bald crown, else wouldst
thou ne'er cheat
customer again. But as for this same knave
Robin Hood, I go
straightway to seek him, and if I do not score
his knave's pate, cut my staff into fagots and call me woman."
So
saying, he gathered himself together to depart.
"Nay," quoth the
landlord,
standing in front of him and
holding out
his arms like a gooseherd driving his flock, for money made him bold,
"thou goest not till thou hast paid me my score."
"But did not he pay thee?"
"Not so much as one
farthing; and ten good shillings' worth of ale have
ye drunk this day. Nay, I say, thou goest not away without paying me,
else shall our good Sheriff know of it."
"But
nought have I to pay thee with, good fellow," quoth the Tinker.
" `Good fellow' not me," said the
landlord.
"Good fellow am I not when it cometh to lose ten shillings!
Pay me that thou owest me in broad money, or else leave
thy coat and bag and
hammer; yet, I wot they are not worth
ten shillings, and I shall lose
thereby. Nay, an thou stirrest,
I have a great dog within and I will loose him upon thee.
Maken, open thou the door and let forth Brian if this fellow
stirs one step."
"Nay," quoth the Tinker--for, by roaming the country,
he had
learned what dogs were--"take thou what thou wilt have,
and let me depart in peace, and may a murrain go with thee.
But oh,
landlord! An I catch yon scurvy varlet, I swear he shall
pay full with usury for that he hath had!"
So
saying, he
strode away toward the forest, talking to himself,
while the
landlord and his
worthy dame and Maken stood looking after him,
and laughed when he had fairly gone.
"Robin and I stripped yon ass of his pack main neatly,"
quoth the
landlord.
Now it happened about this time that Robin Hood was going
through the forest to Fosse Way, to see what was to be
seen there, for the moon was full and the night gave promise
of being bright. In his hand he carried his stout oaken staff,
and at his side hung his bugle horn. As thus he walked up