章节正文
place, let her pass through. For a minute or two they walked on
in silence.
"Oh, how silly you are!" she cried then, beginning with a laugh
and ending with a strange catch in her throat. "Why, you're
only just out of knickerbockers!"
"I don't care, I don't care, Hilda----"
"Hush, hush! Oh, indeed, you must be quiet! See, we are nearly
home."
He seized her hand, not to be quelled this time, and, bending low
over it, kissed it. She did not draw it away, but watched him
with a curious, pained smile. He looked up in her face, his own
glowing with excitement. He righted himself to his full stature
and, from that stooping, kissed her on the lips.
"Oh, you silly boy!" she moaned, and found herself alone in the
meadow. He had gone swiftly back by the way they had come, and
she went on to her home.
"Well, the boy saw you home?" asked Mr. Mortimer when he arrived
half an hour later.
"Yes," she said, raising her head from the cushions of the sofa
on which he found her lying.
"I supposed so, but he didn't come into the smoking-room when he
got back. Went straight to bed, I expect. He's a nice-mannered
young fellow, isn't he?"
"Oh, very!" said Mrs. Mortimer.
II.
Mr. Mortimer had never been so looked after, cosseted, and
comforted for his early start as the next morning, nor the
children found their mother so patient and affectionate. She was
in an abasement of shame and disgust at herself, and quite unable
to treat her transgression lightly. That he was a boy and she--
not a girl--seemed to charge her with his as well as her own
sins, and, besides this moral aggravation, entailed a lower
anxiety as to his discretion and secrecy that drove her half mad
with worry. Suppose he should boast of it! Or, if he were not
bad enough for that, only suppose he should be carried away into
carelessness about it! He had nothing to fear worse than
what he would call "a wigging" and perhaps summary dismissal to a
tutor's: she had more at risk than she could bear to think of.
Probably, by now, he recognized his foolishness, and laughed at
himself and her. This thought made her no happier, for men may
do all that--and yet, very often, they do not stop.
She had to go to a party at the Vicarage in the afternoon. Harry
would be sure to be there, and, with a conflict of feeling
finding expression in her acts, she protected herself by taking
all the children, while she inconsistently dressed herself in her
most youthful and coquettish costume. She found herself almost
grudging Johnnie his rapidly increasing inches, even while she
relied on him for an assertion of her position as a matron. For
the folly of last night was to be over and done with, and her
acquaintance with Harry Sterling to return to its only possible
sane basis; that she was resolved on, but she wanted Harry
honestly--even keenly--to regret her determination.
He was talking to Maudie Sinclair when she arrived; he took off
his hat, but did not allow his eyes to meet hers. She gathered
her children round her, and sat down among the chaperons. Mrs.
Sterling came and talked to her; divining a sympathy, the good
mother had much to say of her son, of her hopes and her fears for
him; so many dangers beset young men, especially if they were
attractive, like Harry; there were debts, idleness, fast men,
and--worst of all--there were designing women, ready to impose on
and ruin the innocence of youth.
"He's been such a good boy till now," said Mrs. Sterling, "but,
of course, his father and I feel anxious. If we could only keep
him here, out of harm's way, under our own eyes!"
Mrs. Mortimer murmured consolation.
"How kind of you! And your influence is so good for him. He
thinks such a lot of you, Hilda."
Mrs. Mortimer, tried too hard, rose and strolled away. Harry's
set seemed to end almost directly, and a moment later he was
shaking hands with her, still keeping his eyes away from hers.
She made her grasp cold and inanimate, and he divined the
displeasure she meant to indicate.
"You must go and play again," she said, "or talk to the girls.
You mustn't come and talk to me."
"Why not! How can I help it--now?"
The laughing at her and himself had evidently not come, but, bad
as that would have been to bear, his tone threatened something
worse.
"Don't," she answered sharply. "I'm very angry. You were very
unkind and--and ungentlemanly last night."
He flushed crimson.
"Didn't you like it?" he asked, with the terrible simplicity of
his youth.
For all her trouble, she had to bite her lip to hide a smile.
What a question to ask--just in so many words!
"It was very, very wicked, and, of course, I didn't like it,"
she answered. "Oh, Harry! don't you know how wicked it was?"
"Oh, yes! I know that, of course," said he, picking at the straw
of his hat, which he was carrying in his hand.
"Well, then!" she said.
"I couldn't help it."
"You must help it. Oh, don't you know--oh, it's absurd! I'm
years older than you."
"You looked so--so awfully pretty."
"I can't stand talking to you. They'll all see."
"Oh, it's all right. You're a friend of mother's, you know. I
say, when shall I be able to see you again--alone, you know?"
Mrs. Mortimer was within an ace of a burst of tears. He seemed
not to know that he made her faint with shame, and mad with
exultation, and bewildered with terror all in a moment. His new
manhood took no heed, save of itself. Was this being out of
harm's way, under the eyes of those poor blind parents?
"If--if you care the least for me--for what I wish, go away,
Harry," she whispered.
He looked at her in wonder, but, with a frown on his face, did as
he was told. Five minutes later he was playing again; she heard
him shout "Thirty--love," as he served, a note of triumphant
battle in his voice. She believed that she was altogether out of
his thoughts.
Her husband was to dine in town that night, and, for sheer
protection, she made Maudie Sinclair come and share her evening
meal. The children were put to bed, and they sat down alone
together, talking over the party. Maudie was pleased to relax a
little of her severity toward Harry Sterling; she admitted that
he had been very useful in arranging the sets, and very pleasant
to everyone.
"Of course, he's conceited," she said, "but all boys are. He'll
get over it."
"You talk as if you were a hundred, Maudie," laughed Mrs.
Mortimer. "He's older than you are."
"Oh, but boys are much younger than girls, Mrs. Mortimer. Harry
Sterling's quite a boy still."
A knock sounded at the door. A minute later the boy walked in.
The sight of Maudie Sinclair produced a momentary start, but he
recovered himself and delivered a note from his mother, the
excuse for his visit. It was an invitation for a few days ahead;
there could certainly have been no hurry for it to arrive that
night. While Mrs. Mortimer read it, Harry sat down and looked at
her. She was obliged to treat his arrival as unimportant, and
invited him to have a glass of wine.
"Why are you in evening dress?" asked Maudie wonderingly.
"For dinner," answered Harry.
"Do you dress when you're alone at home?"
"Generally. Most men do."
Maudie allowed herself to laugh. Mrs. Mortimer saw the joke,
too, but its amusement was bitter to her.
"I like it," she said gently. "Most of the men I know do it."
"Your husband doesn't," observed Miss Sinclair.
"Poor George gets down from town so tired."
She gave Harry the reply she had written (it was a refusal--she
could not have told why), but he seemed not to understand that he
was to go. Before he apprehended, she had to give him a
significant glance; she gave it in dread of Maudie's eyes. She
knew how sharp schoolgirls' eyes are in such things. Whether
Maudie saw it or not, Harry did; he sprang to his feet and said
good-night.
Maudie was not long after him. The conversation languished, and
there was nothing to keep her. With an honest yawn she took her
leave. Mrs. Mortimer accompanied her down the garden to the
gate. As she went, she became to her startled horror aware of a
third person in the garden. She got rid of Maudie as soon as she
could, and turned back to the house. Harry, emerging from
behind a tree, stood before her.
"I know what you're going to say," he said doggedly, "but I
couldn't help it. I was dying to see you again." She spread out
her hands as though to push him away. She was like a frightened
girl.
"Oh, you're mad!" she whispered. "You must go. Suppose anyone
should come. Suppose my husband----"
"I can't help it. I won't stay long."
"Harry, Harry, don't be cruel! You'll ruin me, Harry. If you
love me, go--if you love me."
Even now he hardly fathomed her distress, but she had made him
understand that this spot and this time were too dangerous.
"Tell me where I can see you safely," he asked, almost demanded.
"You can see me safely--nowhere."
"Nowhere? You mean that you won't----"
"Harry, come here a minute--there--no closer. I just want to be
able to touch your hair. Go away, dear--yes, I said `dear.'
Do please go away. You--you won't be any happier afterward for
having--if--if you don't go away."
He stood irresolutely still. Her fingers lightly touched his
hair, and then her arm dropped at her side. He saw a tear run
down her cheek. Suddenly his own face turned crimson.
"I'm--I'm very sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean----"
"Good-night. I'm going in."
She held out her hand. Again he bent and kissed it, and, as he
did so, he felt the light touch of her lips among his hair.
"I'm such a foolish, foolish woman," she whispered, "but you're a
gentleman, Harry," and she drew her hand away and left him.
Two days later she took her children off to the seaside. And the
Mortimers never came back to Natterley. She wrote and told Mrs.
Sterling that George wanted to be nearer his work in town, and
that they had gone to live at Wimbledon.
"How we shall miss her!" exclaimed good Mrs. Sterling. "Poor
Harry! what'll he say?"
III.
One day, at Brighton, some six years later, a lady in widow's
weeds, accompanied by a long, loose-limbed boy of fourteen, was
taking the air by the sea. The place was full of people, and the
scene gay.
Mrs. Mortimer sat down on a seat and Johnnie stood idly by her.
Presently a young man and a girl came along. While they were
still a long way off, Mrs. Mortimer, who was looking in that
direction, suddenly leaned forward, started a little, and looked
hard at them. Johnnie, noticing nothing, whistled unconcernedly.
The couple drew near. Mrs. Mortimer sat with a faint smile on
her face. The girl was chatting merrily to the young man, and he
listened to her and laughed every now and then, but his
bright eyes were not fixed on her, but were here, there, and
everywhere, where metal attractive to such eyes might be found.
in silence.
"Oh, how silly you are!" she cried then, beginning with a laugh
and ending with a strange catch in her throat. "Why, you're
only just out of knickerbockers!"
"I don't care, I don't care, Hilda----"
"Hush, hush! Oh, indeed, you must be quiet! See, we are nearly
home."
He seized her hand, not to be quelled this time, and, bending low
over it, kissed it. She did not draw it away, but watched him
with a curious, pained smile. He looked up in her face, his own
glowing with excitement. He righted himself to his full stature
and, from that stooping, kissed her on the lips.
"Oh, you silly boy!" she moaned, and found herself alone in the
meadow. He had gone swiftly back by the way they had come, and
she went on to her home.
"Well, the boy saw you home?" asked Mr. Mortimer when he arrived
half an hour later.
"Yes," she said, raising her head from the cushions of the sofa
on which he found her lying.
"I supposed so, but he didn't come into the smoking-room when he
got back. Went straight to bed, I expect. He's a nice-mannered
young fellow, isn't he?"
"Oh, very!" said Mrs. Mortimer.
II.
Mr. Mortimer had never been so looked after, cosseted, and
comforted for his early start as the next morning, nor the
children found their mother so patient and affectionate. She was
in an abasement of shame and disgust at herself, and quite unable
to treat her transgression lightly. That he was a boy and she--
not a girl--seemed to charge her with his as well as her own
sins, and, besides this moral aggravation, entailed a lower
anxiety as to his discretion and secrecy that drove her half mad
with worry. Suppose he should boast of it! Or, if he were not
bad enough for that, only suppose he should be carried away into
carelessness about it! He had nothing to fear worse than
what he would call "a wigging" and perhaps summary dismissal to a
tutor's: she had more at risk than she could bear to think of.
Probably, by now, he recognized his foolishness, and laughed at
himself and her. This thought made her no happier, for men may
do all that--and yet, very often, they do not stop.
She had to go to a party at the Vicarage in the afternoon. Harry
would be sure to be there, and, with a conflict of feeling
finding expression in her acts, she protected herself by taking
all the children, while she inconsistently dressed herself in her
most youthful and coquettish costume. She found herself almost
grudging Johnnie his rapidly increasing inches, even while she
relied on him for an assertion of her position as a matron. For
the folly of last night was to be over and done with, and her
acquaintance with Harry Sterling to return to its only possible
sane basis; that she was resolved on, but she wanted Harry
honestly--even keenly--to regret her determination.
He was talking to Maudie Sinclair when she arrived; he took off
his hat, but did not allow his eyes to meet hers. She gathered
her children round her, and sat down among the chaperons. Mrs.
Sterling came and talked to her; divining a sympathy, the good
mother had much to say of her son, of her hopes and her fears for
him; so many dangers beset young men, especially if they were
attractive, like Harry; there were debts, idleness, fast men,
and--worst of all--there were designing women, ready to impose on
and ruin the innocence of youth.
"He's been such a good boy till now," said Mrs. Sterling, "but,
of course, his father and I feel anxious. If we could only keep
him here, out of harm's way, under our own eyes!"
Mrs. Mortimer murmured consolation.
"How kind of you! And your influence is so good for him. He
thinks such a lot of you, Hilda."
Mrs. Mortimer, tried too hard, rose and strolled away. Harry's
set seemed to end almost directly, and a moment later he was
shaking hands with her, still keeping his eyes away from hers.
She made her grasp cold and inanimate, and he divined the
displeasure she meant to indicate.
"You must go and play again," she said, "or talk to the girls.
You mustn't come and talk to me."
"Why not! How can I help it--now?"
The laughing at her and himself had evidently not come, but, bad
as that would have been to bear, his tone threatened something
worse.
"Don't," she answered sharply. "I'm very angry. You were very
unkind and--and ungentlemanly last night."
He flushed crimson.
"Didn't you like it?" he asked, with the terrible simplicity of
his youth.
For all her trouble, she had to bite her lip to hide a smile.
What a question to ask--just in so many words!
"It was very, very wicked, and, of course, I didn't like it,"
she answered. "Oh, Harry! don't you know how wicked it was?"
"Oh, yes! I know that, of course," said he, picking at the straw
of his hat, which he was carrying in his hand.
"Well, then!" she said.
"I couldn't help it."
"You must help it. Oh, don't you know--oh, it's absurd! I'm
years older than you."
"You looked so--so awfully pretty."
"I can't stand talking to you. They'll all see."
"Oh, it's all right. You're a friend of mother's, you know. I
say, when shall I be able to see you again--alone, you know?"
Mrs. Mortimer was within an ace of a burst of tears. He seemed
not to know that he made her faint with shame, and mad with
exultation, and bewildered with terror all in a moment. His new
manhood took no heed, save of itself. Was this being out of
harm's way, under the eyes of those poor blind parents?
"If--if you care the least for me--for what I wish, go away,
Harry," she whispered.
He looked at her in wonder, but, with a frown on his face, did as
he was told. Five minutes later he was playing again; she heard
him shout "Thirty--love," as he served, a note of triumphant
battle in his voice. She believed that she was altogether out of
his thoughts.
Her husband was to dine in town that night, and, for sheer
protection, she made Maudie Sinclair come and share her evening
meal. The children were put to bed, and they sat down alone
together, talking over the party. Maudie was pleased to relax a
little of her severity toward Harry Sterling; she admitted that
he had been very useful in arranging the sets, and very pleasant
to everyone.
"Of course, he's conceited," she said, "but all boys are. He'll
get over it."
"You talk as if you were a hundred, Maudie," laughed Mrs.
Mortimer. "He's older than you are."
"Oh, but boys are much younger than girls, Mrs. Mortimer. Harry
Sterling's quite a boy still."
A knock sounded at the door. A minute later the boy walked in.
The sight of Maudie Sinclair produced a momentary start, but he
recovered himself and delivered a note from his mother, the
excuse for his visit. It was an invitation for a few days ahead;
there could certainly have been no hurry for it to arrive that
night. While Mrs. Mortimer read it, Harry sat down and looked at
her. She was obliged to treat his arrival as unimportant, and
invited him to have a glass of wine.
"Why are you in evening dress?" asked Maudie wonderingly.
"For dinner," answered Harry.
"Do you dress when you're alone at home?"
"Generally. Most men do."
Maudie allowed herself to laugh. Mrs. Mortimer saw the joke,
too, but its amusement was bitter to her.
"I like it," she said gently. "Most of the men I know do it."
"Your husband doesn't," observed Miss Sinclair.
"Poor George gets down from town so tired."
She gave Harry the reply she had written (it was a refusal--she
could not have told why), but he seemed not to understand that he
was to go. Before he apprehended, she had to give him a
significant glance; she gave it in dread of Maudie's eyes. She
knew how sharp schoolgirls' eyes are in such things. Whether
Maudie saw it or not, Harry did; he sprang to his feet and said
good-night.
Maudie was not long after him. The conversation languished, and
there was nothing to keep her. With an honest yawn she took her
leave. Mrs. Mortimer accompanied her down the garden to the
gate. As she went, she became to her startled horror aware of a
third person in the garden. She got rid of Maudie as soon as she
could, and turned back to the house. Harry, emerging from
behind a tree, stood before her.
"I know what you're going to say," he said doggedly, "but I
couldn't help it. I was dying to see you again." She spread out
her hands as though to push him away. She was like a frightened
girl.
"Oh, you're mad!" she whispered. "You must go. Suppose anyone
should come. Suppose my husband----"
"I can't help it. I won't stay long."
"Harry, Harry, don't be cruel! You'll ruin me, Harry. If you
love me, go--if you love me."
Even now he hardly fathomed her distress, but she had made him
understand that this spot and this time were too dangerous.
"Tell me where I can see you safely," he asked, almost demanded.
"You can see me safely--nowhere."
"Nowhere? You mean that you won't----"
"Harry, come here a minute--there--no closer. I just want to be
able to touch your hair. Go away, dear--yes, I said `dear.'
Do please go away. You--you won't be any happier afterward for
having--if--if you don't go away."
He stood irresolutely still. Her fingers lightly touched his
hair, and then her arm dropped at her side. He saw a tear run
down her cheek. Suddenly his own face turned crimson.
"I'm--I'm very sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean----"
"Good-night. I'm going in."
She held out her hand. Again he bent and kissed it, and, as he
did so, he felt the light touch of her lips among his hair.
"I'm such a foolish, foolish woman," she whispered, "but you're a
gentleman, Harry," and she drew her hand away and left him.
Two days later she took her children off to the seaside. And the
Mortimers never came back to Natterley. She wrote and told Mrs.
Sterling that George wanted to be nearer his work in town, and
that they had gone to live at Wimbledon.
"How we shall miss her!" exclaimed good Mrs. Sterling. "Poor
Harry! what'll he say?"
III.
One day, at Brighton, some six years later, a lady in widow's
weeds, accompanied by a long, loose-limbed boy of fourteen, was
taking the air by the sea. The place was full of people, and the
scene gay.
Mrs. Mortimer sat down on a seat and Johnnie stood idly by her.
Presently a young man and a girl came along. While they were
still a long way off, Mrs. Mortimer, who was looking in that
direction, suddenly leaned forward, started a little, and looked
hard at them. Johnnie, noticing nothing, whistled unconcernedly.
The couple drew near. Mrs. Mortimer sat with a faint smile on
her face. The girl was chatting merrily to the young man, and he
listened to her and laughed every now and then, but his
bright eyes were not fixed on her, but were here, there, and
everywhere, where metal attractive to such eyes might be found.
- beginning [bi´giniŋ]
n.开始，开端；起源 (初中英语单词) - throat [θrəut] n.咽喉；嗓子；出入口 (初中英语单词)
- excitement [ik´saitmənt] n.兴奋；骚动；煽动 (初中英语单词)
- swiftly [´swiftli] ad.迅速地，敏捷地 (初中英语单词)
- supposed [sə´pəuzd] a.想象的；假定的 (初中英语单词)
- disgust [dis´gʌst] n.厌恶 vt.令(人)作呕 (初中英语单词)
- lightly [´laitli] ad.轻微地，稍微 (初中英语单词)
- charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.收费；冲锋 n.费用 (初中英语单词)
- conflict [´kɔnflikt, kən´flikt] n.&vi.战斗；抵触 (初中英语单词)
- youthful [´ju:θfəl] a.年轻的；青年的 (初中英语单词)
- costume [´kɔstju:m] n.服装(试样)；女装 (初中英语单词)
- sympathy [´simpəθi] n.同情，怜悯 (初中英语单词)
- impose [im´pəuz] v.课税；强加；利用 (初中英语单词)
- anxious [´æŋkʃəs] a.担忧的；渴望的 (初中英语单词)
- evidently [´evidəntli] ad.明显地 (初中英语单词)
- sharply [´ʃɑ:pli] ad.锋利地；剧烈地 (初中英语单词)
- wicked [´wikid] a.邪恶的；不道德的 (初中英语单词)
- terror [´terə] n.恐怖；惊骇 (初中英语单词)
- altogether [,ɔ:ltə´geðə] ad.完全；总而言之 (初中英语单词)
- invitation [,invi´teiʃən] n.邀请；请帖；吸引 (初中英语单词)
- arrival [ə´raivəl] n.到达；到达的人(物) (初中英语单词)
- amusement [ə´mju:zmənt] n.娱乐；文娱设施 (初中英语单词)
- gently [´dʒentli] ad.温和地；静静地 (初中英语单词)
- sprang [spræŋ] spring 的过去式 (初中英语单词)
- horror [´hɔrə] n.恐怖；战栗 (初中英语单词)
- distress [di´stres] n.痛苦 vt.使苦恼 (初中英语单词)
- attractive [ə´træktiv] a.有吸引力；诱人的 (初中英语单词)
- ending [´endiŋ] n.结尾，结局 (高中英语单词)
- affectionate [ə´fekʃənit] a.亲爱的 (高中英语单词)
- innocence [´inəsəns] n.无罪；天真 (高中英语单词)
- simplicity [sim´plisiti] n.简单；朴素 (高中英语单词)
- awfully [´ɔ:fuli] ad.令人畏惧地 (高中英语单词)
- merrily [´merili] ad.欢乐地；愉快地 (高中英语单词)
- discretion [di´skreʃən] n.谨慎；判断(力) (英语四级单词)
- secrecy [´si:krəsi] n.保密；秘密 (英语四级单词)
- summary [´sʌməri] a.&n.摘要(的) (英语四级单词)
- assertion [ə´sə:ʃən] n.断言；主张；论述 (英语四级单词)
- matron [´meitrən] n.主妇；护士长 (英语四级单词)
- sterling [´stə:liŋ] a.真正的 n.英国货币 (英语四级单词)
- resolved [ri´zɔlvd] a.决心的；坚定的 (英语四级单词)
- idleness [´aidlnis] n.懒；闲着不干事 (英语四级单词)
- severity [si´veriti] n.严厉；严重；苛刻 (英语四级单词)
- momentary [´məuməntəri] a.瞬息间的 (英语四级单词)
- unimportant [ʌnim´pɔ:tənt] a.不重要的，平凡的 (英语四级单词)
- foolishness [´fu:liʃnis] n.愚蠢 (英语六级单词)
- doggedly [´dɔgidli] ad.顽强地，固执地 (英语六级单词)
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章节正文
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