I Went to School to Learn to Read

　　I went to school to learn to read,

　　but learned instead of trouts in tweed.

　　I thought they'd show us how to write.

　　They showed a fig could fly a kite.

　　Instead of having history class

　　we caught gorillas in a glass,

　　then didn't learn arithmetic,

　　but watched as Tuesday did a trick.

　　We also skipped geography

　　to learn why eggs can disagree.

　　And then, instead of taking art,

　　we learned to take the air apart.

　　Instead of having science there,

　　we played with pigs with purple hair.

　　We learned to catch a savage chair

　　and why balloons are really square.

　　We learned the moon can eat the sun

　　and why bananas like to run.

　　It's true, we may get nothing done,

　　but, boy, it sure is lots of fun.