I suddenly felt like drinking some wine last night, because I had some tough decisions to make. It's been too long for me to live in the shadow created by myself! Darkness has taken me and made me get used to it. Fortunately, I finally woke up and decided to make my way out.

Amanda bought me a bottle of wine with 55 per cent alcohol. It tasted as bitter as the life I had been undergoing. I told her, honestly, all what I had experienced. And I said: It is I who chose to be like this! It's my own choice! Had I not come back from Singapore, not decided to leave FX, not divorced with Maggie, I would not have met you! There are too many things, which are not supposed to happen, happened on me! This is my life, no matter I like it or not!

My job is stable but not well-paid, interesting but not challenging, relaxing but not what I want. There's nothing about the job I am proud of, except that I can be the interpreter for the vice mayor sometimes. But is it a big deal? No, I don't think so!

There are now two options in front of me. I can either choose to stay in government or leave for foreign companies. I asked Amanda for advice, who suggested me to stay still in the government. My parents also asked me to be patient! My mind is totally blank now, cause I don't even know which to choose. I'm confused!

Neither option is convincing, in terms of payment and long-term improvement. Working for the government will give me a stable career life. I won't need to worry about my sales targets and whatever insurance. But I will never be rich again! Working for a foreign company will bring to me good salaries and bonus. But I will be under great pressure to achieve whatever goals made by the company! I'm no longer a young salesman, who takes the pressure as something I see everyday. My confidence is no longer as strong as before!

God, it's so hard to make the decision!
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