酷兔英语


Some people take time off work to be with their children. Others take a break to write a book or care for an ailing loved one or to volunteer in Africa. But it's the rare person who steps off the treadmill to spend quality time with a spouse.


有些人暂时辞去工作为的是能有时间陪陪自己的孩子。些人则是为了写书或是照顾生病的爱人,或是去非洲做志愿者。但很少有人辞去一份单调的工作仅仅是为了和爱人共度珍贵时光。



That's what Ifeyinwa Offor Walker recently did, and she's not getting a lot of pats on the back. In an email to The Juggle, Walker writes:


然而沃克尔(Ifeyinwa Offor Walker)就是这么做的,她并没有从周遭得到多少鼓励和赞扬。在写给《工作•家》(The Juggle)的电子邮件中,沃克尔这样写道:



After two grueling years as a successful VP at an education non-profit, I decided to take some time off. Not because I was having a baby or had small children at home that I was too exhausted to engage with. Not because my parents were sick. Not because I was diagnosed with a terminalillness. Not because I saw retirement looking me in the eye and wanted to make sure I really took time off to enjoy life.


我在一家非盈利性教育机构担任副总裁,事业成功。两年的艰辛工作之后,我决定休息一段时间。所以做出这个决定,并不是因为我怀孕了,或是工作太累无法照顾家中小孩。也不是因为我的父母生病了,我也没有被诊断出患有绝症。也不是因为退休近在眼前,我真的想抽出时间享受生活。



I took time off because as a recently-married, three-degree-holding, child-free, 29-year-old woman in New York, my priority is growing a solid foundation for my marriage/relationship with my husband.


我决定休息一段时间是因为作为一个新婚不久、拥有三个学位但没有小孩的29岁纽约职业女性,我觉得自己眼下的首要任务是和丈夫一起构筑婚姻的坚实基础。



But somehow, this just isn't valued. I receive questions all the time about my choices.


但不知为何我的选择不受重视,且一直有人质疑我的选择,在这些人看来我所以决定休息一段时间是因为:



You are taking time off because:


a) 我的老公在著名的私募股权投资基金KKR工作;



a) your husband works for KKR


b) 我刚生完小孩,或是家中孩子还小;



b) you just had a baby/have small children at home


c) 我的父母年事已高,需要照顾;



c) your parents are aging and need care


d) 我被诊断出患有绝症(这种情况我真的应该停止工作);



d) you've been diagnosed for a terminalillness (in which case you should really just stop working!)


其实我想说的是:各位,我想选E:以上答案都不对。我只不过想花点时间构筑一个家庭,延长一下蜜月期。



What I really want to say is, 'Hey folks, I'm actually choosing e) none of the above. I'd like to spend time building a home and extending the honeymoon period.'


在美国,相比钓到一个在KKR工作的老公或是得了严重疾病死掉的概率,婚姻失败的可能性更大一些。那么为什么发展和维护你和另一半的关系就不能受到重视呢?



In a country where you're more likely to fail in your relationship than you are to land a husband who works at KKR or end up with a serious disease, why isn't developing and growing your personal relationships valued?


一种可能的解释是,人们不像从前那样重视婚姻的价值了(与此同时工作对很多人来说是神圣不可侵犯的),比如《时代》杂志(Time)和皮尤中心(Pew)联合进行的调查就发现近40%的美国人认为婚姻是过时的产物。既然美国有全球最高的再婚率,那么下面这个假设就可以当作一个基本事实了:如果你的婚姻失败了,你总能再找到另一段婚姻。



Here's one possible answer: Marriage itself isn't as valued as it once was. (Work, meanwhile, is sacrosanct for many people.) A recent Time magazine/ Pew survey finds that nearly 40% of Americans think marriage is obsolete, for instance. And since we have one of the world's highest rates of remarriage, it might just be a given that if your marriage fails, you can always find another one.


话虽如此,但谁又不想像沃克尔那样,延长一下自己的"蜜月期"呢?时间虽然短暂,但又是如此的甜蜜。初恋有一种强迫性的特质,会诅咒此后年复一年单调的婚姻生活。科学家们甚至发现,沉浸在浪漫爱情阵痛中的恋人们,其大脑中血清素的水平和患有强迫性神经官能症病人差不多。血清素是一种会影响人类情绪的化学物质。



That said, who wouldn't want to follow Ms. Walker's lead and extend the 'honeymoon period'? It's so brief, yet so sweet. Early love has an obsessive quality to it that's anathema to the year-after-year-ness of married life. Scientists have even found that people in the throes of romantic love, in so-called limerent states, have levels of serotonin