酷兔英语


You know the type. The people with obnoxious laughs, pushy pitches, and the ability to corner you at industry conferences and talk about themselves continuously for what seems like hours? The ones who clearly mean well, but their lack of etiquette can make you wish you hadn't even gone?


知道有这样子一种人:他们惹人厌烦地大笑、声调咄咄逼人、而且有本事在行业会议中把你堵住没完没了地谈论他们自己长达数小时;他们显然并无恶意,但是他们的礼仪不周会让你满心希望自己没有到场。



Here's a friendly suggestion: Don't be that person.


这里有一个友善的建议:别做那样的人。



Networking is a critical part of any job hunt, yet it's probably the easiest thing to get wrong. Using living, breathing connections works better than blindly sending out resumes over the Internet, but for many, approaching people they don't know for help finding or getting a job is uncomfortable and nerve wracking.


在找工作的过程中,社会交往是至关重要的一环,同时也可能是最容易出错的一环。利用有生命力的人际关系比在互联网上盲目乱发简历要有效得多,但是在许多人看来,找工作时寻求自己不认识的人的帮助是非常伤脑筋的,他们会表现得很不自在。



Knowing a few etiquette guidelines can help you keep your conduct aboveboard, and perhaps ease a few fears about putting yourself in front of the well-connected.


了解一些礼仪规范能够让你的举止上得了台面,也许还能帮助你缓解面对人脉很广的人时的恐惧。



Have a Solid Introduction


给力的自我介绍



As most know, first impressions count heavily. Make sure your attire, attitude and overall appearance are the best possible before introducing yourself to someone.


众所周知,第一印象起着很大的作用,在把自己介绍给别人时,要确保你的装束、态度和总体形象都在最佳状态。



If you're at a networking event, pay close attention to the groups people have formed around the room. Join people who are by themselves, or a group of two or three whose positions provide you with a physical 'opening' to jump into the conversation, says Ivan Misner, founder of California-based business networking organization BNI. Introduce yourself by clearly stating your name and making eye contact while you shake their hand, says Carol Goman, a nonverbal communicationexpert and author of The Silent Language of Leaders. Weak handshakes turn people off, so practice yours with a friend to make sure it's neither bone-crushing nor wimpy.


总部位于加州的商业网络组织BNI的创始人伊凡口米斯纳(Ivan Misner)说,参加一场社交活动时,要仔细留意人们在场内形成的一个个小群体,可以和独自待着的人搭话,也可以加入两三个人组成的小群体,只要他们的位置给你留下了跻身的空间,让你可以插入到谈话中去。非语言交流专家、《领袖们无声的语言》(The Silent Language of Leaders)一书的作者卡罗尔口高曼(Carol Goman)说,介绍你自己的时候要清楚地说出姓名,与别人握手时跟对方要有眼神的交流。无力的握手会令对方兴味索然,所以不妨先找一位朋友练习握手,确保你和别人握手时既不会令对方骨头生疼,也不会显得软弱无力。



If introducing yourself online, remember to follow in-person social etiquette rules. If someone referred you to the person, for example, put the mutual contact's name in the subject line of the e-mail, says Goman, so there's an immediate level of recognition. 'Email is a cold medium,' she says. 'If you can warm it up with something personal, do so.'


如果你是在互联网上介绍自己,记住也要遵从现实社交礼仪的规矩。高曼说,举例来讲,如果是别人将你介绍给对方的,那么要在电邮的主题行中写出这个和双方都有联系的人的名字,从而使对方立即产生一定程度的认可。高曼说,电邮是一种冷媒介,如果你能用一些个人化的东西让它热乎起来,那就这么做吧。



Don't Confuse People with Your Pitch


不要让你的介绍困惑别人



No one needs to hear your entire work history upon meeting you. If someone asks you to tell them a bit about yourself, your explanation from start to finish shouldn't take more than 30 to 60 seconds.


没有人会在刚结识的时候就要听你整个的工作经历。如果有人让你告诉他一些有关你的情况,你的解说过程从头至尾不能超过30至60秒。



This is especially true when you're networking with people who don't work in your industry. Going into the nitty gritty details of your specific skills and interests in chemicalengineering will likely go over the head of someone who works in management consulting or marketing. 'Most people begin by reciting their resume in reverse chronological order,' says Jodi Glickman, author of Great on the Job, and founder of the career consultancy by the same name.


当你与其他行业的人交往时这一点尤其适用。跟从事管理咨询或市场工作的人细述你在化学工程方面的特别技能和兴趣,对方很可能根本就听不懂。《工作好表现》(Great on the Job)一书的作者、Great on the Job职业咨询服务公司的创始人乔迪口格利克曼(Jodi Glickman)说,多数人用倒叙的方式背诵自己的简历。不要这么做,应该先讲你想做什么,亦即你的目标,然后再简要地介绍自己的经历,将二者联系起来。分享相关的经历,而不是最近的经历。格利克曼说,你最近做的事情可能与你接下来想做的事无关。



'Instead, you should start with what you want to do -- your destination -- then a brief backstory, and connect the dots between them,' says Glickman. Share what's relevant, not what's recent. 'The latest thing you've been working on might not be related to what you want to do next.'


不要讲让人伤感的事



Don't Tell a Sob Story


不管你的经历有多艰辛,面对新结识的人时都要描绘出自己积极向上的一面。格利克曼说,潜在雇主或社交网络朋友不会为了让人好受点就去提挈那些垂头丧气的人。他们想要那些表现出良好的、有干劲的态度的人,那些对这个工作职位有饱满和激昂热情的人,而不是只要得到工作就兴奋的人。



No matter how tough it's been, you need to paint a positive picture when you're making new connections. 'Potential employers or connections aren't going to bring on people who are down in the dumps just to make them feel better,' says Glickman. They want people who project a good, can-do attitude, and who will be energetic and excited about the position, she says, not people who are just excited to have a job.


一般来说,社交网络中没有抱怨的空间,不管是抱怨失业,还是工作多么艰难,或者你的前雇主有多么坏。米斯纳说,在这种经济状态下,当别人问"工作怎么样",不要郑重其事地回答状况有多糟糕。抱怨工作和经济如何差没有任何好处,人们讨厌和有情绪的人有工作往来。



Complaining in general has no place in networking whether it's about unemployment, how tough your job is, or how bad your former employer was. 'In this economy, people say 'How's business?' and they'll actually tell you,' says Misner. 'It doesn't do any good to complain about how bad business or the economy is. People hate doing business with people who are grumpy.'


多听少说



Spend More Time Listening Than Talking


在商务社交中,这句古话是千真万确的:自然赋予人类一张嘴、两只耳朵,也就是要我们多听少说。商务沟通顾问、《你会握手吗?》(What's Up With Your Handshake?)一书作者马克口杰弗里斯(Mark Jeffries)说,就像是约会一样,你应该花更多的时间倾听和了解你面前的人,少花时间谈论你自己。等到真正对这个人有所了解了,你才能介绍自己,以最适合对方的特定需要的方式讲述自己的故事。



In this case, the old adage is true: People were given two ears and one mouth, and you should use them proportionately. 'Just like in the dating world, you should spend more time listening to and understanding the person in front of you than talking about yourself,' says Mark Jeffries, a business communications consultant and author of What's Up With Your Handshake?. 'Once you have truly understood what drives this person, then you can introduce yourself and tell your own stories in a way that best fits their specific needs.'


米斯纳说,多数人以为社交能手都是外向型的,但是外向型的人讲起话来常会没完没了。谈论你自己是推介你自己的好方法,但是仔细的倾听能帮助你与对方建立起更深的关系。



'Most people think that the really great networkers are extroverts, but extroverts don't shut up,' says Misner. Talking about yourself is a good way to spread the word about who you are, but listening closely can help you form a deeper relationship with someone.


不要表现得像个社交低能儿



Avoid Being Socially Inept


对人友善、讨人喜欢与不合时宜令人尴尬之间的差别其实是很微妙的,你总不希望自己是后一种情况吧。



There's a fine line between being friendly and personable and being awkward. You do not want to be the latter.


格利克曼说,要避免谈论一些会让人不舒服的事情,例如,请不要告诉别人你因为最近做了脑部手术或者因为被裁员而失业六个月。这么说让别人觉得大家都得要同情你,你总不会希望让这种情绪成为彼此关系的基础吧。将负面的东西含糊带过,你可以说你休了六个月的病假或者花时间旅游去了,这么说是让谈话保持愉悦的好方法。



'Steer clear of talking about things that would make people uncomfortable,' says Glickman. 'For example, don't tell me that you were out of work for six months because you recently had brain surgery, or because you were laid off.' People are going to feel as if they need to pity you, but you don't want that to be the foundation of a relationship. Being vague about negatives like saying you're returning after a six-month medical leave, or after spending some time traveling is a good way to keep the conversation on a high level.


高曼说,你应该了解一些基本的社交概念,比如眼睛应看往何处,和别人站得多近等。看着对方的眼睛到额头中间的这个区域是专业的,而盯着对方的眼睛至嘴部的区域则不然。米斯纳说,你还应该和交谈的对象保持一臂长度的距离。



You should maintain some normal social constructs, such as where you direct your eyes and how closely you stand to people. Looking from someone's eyes to the middle of their forehead is professional, versus a more social gaze of eyes-to-mouth, says Goman. You should also try to keep an arm's length away from anyone you're talking to, says Misner.


不要逗留得太久



Don't Overstay Your Welcome


占用一个人太长的时间与完全忽略他们基本上是同样糟糕的。



Taking up too much of someone's time is almost as bad as ignoring them entirely.


杰弗里斯说,你要明白什么时候时间差不多了,这是必须的。在社交场合如果你先放人,你就是赢家,所以当你看到有人慢慢将两臂交叉,别人看你身后的次数增多,或者突然爱用"反正"这个词,他们就在给你传递已经不算微妙的暗示,告诉你他们想离开了。



'It's imperative that you understand when your time is up,' says Jeffries. 'You win in the social world if you 'release people first,' so if you see a slow crossing of the arms, an increase in the amount of time they're looking over your shoulder, or a sudden obsession with the word 'anyway,' they are giving you not-so-subtle hints that they'd like to move on.'


高曼说,要准备好几种优雅退场的方式,例如"认识你很荣幸!那边还有两个人我说过要去见一下",或者"有什么人我可以介绍你认识吗?"如果对方仍然没有领会,这个备用招数肯定管用──"我要再去拿一杯喝的"。



Have a few 'graceful exits' ready, says Goman. Examples: 'It was a pleasure meeting you! There are a couple of other people here who I said I'd get it touch with while I'm here,' or 'Is there anyone here I can introduce you to?' If you're still lost, there's always the standby 'I'm going to run to grab another drink.'


递上你的名片而非简历



Hand out Your Business Card, Not Your Resume


到处主动递简历是不合适的,不管是在线上还是线下,你要先和别人有了交往再请他们帮忙。很多人忽略了这个职业礼节,在递简历或申请时请刚认识的人做推荐人。



It's not ok to pass along an unsolicited resume. Offline or online, you need to work on forming a relationship with someone before you ask them for anything at all. Many people overlook this professional courtesy, and ask brand new connections to serve as a referral when submitting a resume or application.


格利克曼说,不要向陌生人寻求工作,你不能让某个和你没有交往的人帮你,这么很做不专业、惹人厌烦而且没有效果。



'Don't ask strangers for a job,' says Glickman. 'You can't ask someone to do a favor for you who you don't have a relationship with. It's unprofessional, tacky and ineffective.'


你应该和别人交换名片。给出自己的名片时,也要明确地礼貌地索要对方的名片。不要以为别人肯定会主动索要名片。跟对方分开稍微有了点距离之后,花点时间在纸上赶快记下刚见到的这个人的一些信息:他提到的私人的事情,你们讨论过的一则新闻,或者你们谈论过的一个商业点子。之后你可以给对方发一封短信,可以用这些东西来礼貌地唤起对方的回忆。



Instead, go for the business card exchange. Make sure that when you offer yours, you specifically and politely request theirs. Don't assume they'll solicit it on their own. Once you're a bit of a distance from them, take a minute to jot down a few notes about the person you just met on a sheet of paper anything personal they may have mentioned, a news item you discussed, or a business idea you talked about. You can use that to politely jog their memory in a follow-up note.


跟进和保持



Follow Up and Through


与人交往最基本的法则也许就是:种下了新的社交关系的种子后,你必须保持跟进,养护好它。不管它是业务关系、找工作的机会还是专业上的交往,都要在24小时内和对方联系,表示认识他你很高兴。



Perhaps the 'Cardinal Rule' of networking is that once you've planted the seeds of a new relationship, you must follow up to maintain it. Whether it's a business referral, job lead, or a professional connection, get in touch within 24 hours to say you enjoyed meeting them.


格利克曼说,没有人欠你的,所以你要尽可能地迎合别人。花时间和你讲话、帮你搭建人脉、给人提供指导的人都值得感谢。相信自己肯定能从每个人身上学到东西,也许他们并不是能够帮助你的人,但是他们可能认识某个你想要联系的人。



'No one owes you anything, so you need to be as ingratiating as you can,' says Glickman. People who have taken the time to speak with you and provide you with connections or guidancedeserve a thank you. 'Assume that you can learn from everyone. They might not be the right person, but they might know someone who you might want to be in touch with.'


和熟人介绍给你的人取得联系也很重要。米斯纳说,别人给你做了推荐后,你自己却不耐烦去做跟进,这样推荐的人会不乐意的。因为如果你没有跟进,两方面都不好看:一个是你,因为你没有跟进可能的机会,另一个就是推荐你的人,因为他把你当作可靠的人推荐给了别人。



It's also critical to reach out to anyone a connection refers you to. 'People hate it when they give someone a referral and the person never bothers to follow up on it,' says Misner. If you don't, it makes two parties look bad, he says you, since you didn't follow through on a potential lead, and the person who referred you, since they recommended you as a reliable resource.


Kelly Eggers


文章标签:法则