酷兔英语


Most people who know me believe I'm really outgoing. I've held hands with strangers who were nervous on planes, made a friend while shopping for ties at Saks and once called a wrong number and chatted away -- for 10 minutes.


多数认识我的人都觉得我很外向。我曾经在乘坐飞机时拉住紧张不安的陌生人的手;曾在Saks商场选购领带时结识了一个新朋友;有一次,我打错了电话却和对方聊了起来──还聊了足有10分钟。



Cocktail parties? Interviewing someone important for work? Speaking in public? Not (typically) a problem for me. As my best friend helpfully pointed out recently, 'You could talk anyone under the table.'


鸡尾酒会?因为工作关系采访重要人物?当众讲话?这些对我(通常来说)都不算是问题。就像我最好的朋友最近一针见血地指出的那样,"你的话多得任谁都招架不住。"



So why do I get tongue-tied, back up into a file cabinet or blurt out something inappropriate every time I run into one particularly talentedcolleague? Why do I dread simply walking across a restaurant or room full of people? Why did I dribble wine down my chin at a party recently when I noticed a man checking me out?


那么,为什么我每次碰到一个非常有才能的同事的时候都会张口结舌、退到文件柜一角或者脱口而出些不合时宜的话?为什么我走过坐满人的餐厅或者是房间时会心怀恐惧?在最近的一次聚会上,当我注意到一个男人在打量我的时候,为什么我会把葡萄酒洒到脖子上?



Here's a hint: I was voted Most Shy in high school. And while I've successfully exorcised much of my bashfulness -- partly with determination, partly by simply racking up more life experiences over time -- I still suffer from what psychologists call 'situational shyness.' In other words, certain circumstances, or people, can make me unexpectedly" target="_blank" title="ad.意外地;突然地">unexpectedly, uncontrollably shy.


提示:我在高中时被选为最害羞的人。尽管我已经成功摆脱了大半的害羞心理──这一部分归功于决心,一部分仅仅因为我累积了更多的人生经历──我仍然受到心理学家所谓"情境性害羞"的困扰。换句话说,某些情境或某些人能够让我变得突然且不可控制地害羞起来。



While about 40% of Americans actually consider themselves shy, a whopping 95% of people say they experience temporary timidity from time to time, according to studies from the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, in New Albany, Ind. In other words, almost everyone -- even the people you think are most confident -- experiences shyness sometimes, and this can negatively impact their interactions with others. (As for the other 5% who say they have never, even once, felt shy? The researchers think they're lying.)


位于印地安纳州新奥本尼(New Albany)的印地安纳大学东南分校(Indiana University Southeast)害羞研究中心(Shyness Research Institute)称,尽管约有40%的美国人认为自己属于害羞的类型,但高达95%的美国人都表示,他们不时会感受到短暂的羞怯。换句话说,几乎所有人──即便是那些你认为非常自信的人──都会不时地感到害羞,而且这可能会给与他人的交流带来负面影响。(至于那些表示自己从未感觉害羞的5%,研究人员认为他们在撒谎。)



In general, shyness is a personality trait that is partlybiological (experts can't say how much) and partly environmental. We become shy when we are excessively self-conscious, self preoccupied or self-critical.


总的来说,害羞这一个性特点部分属于生理反应(专家还不清楚占多大程度),部分受环境影响。当我们拥有极强的自我意识、陷入极度的自我沉迷或自我批判的时候,我们会变得害羞。



And there's the crux: Shyness can hold people back. Unlike introverts, who prefer to be sociallywithdrawn, shy people want to be social. Making matters worse, shy people are often misunderstood -- thought to be snobby or aloof.


问题在于:害羞能让人们止步不前。和喜爱独处的性格内向者不同,害羞的人希望结交朋友。让事情更糟糕的是,害羞者经常被人误解──人们以为他们是高傲自大或冷若冰霜。



There's an additional problem with situational shyness: It can pop up at the most inopportune times.


情境性害羞还有另外一个问题:这种情况可能会在最不合时宜的时间出现。



Overall, the biggest causes of situational shyness, according to Dr. Carducci, include strangers, people in authority and people we find attractive. But there are plenty of others: transitions to a new job, parties and famous people, to name a few. (Surprisingly, he says, many people who find themselves sometimes-shy have no trouble speaking in public or acting, in large part because those activities are scripted and practiced.)


总的说来,情境性害羞最大的诱因,根据心理学家、害羞研究中心负责人卡杜西(Bernardo J Carducci)的说法,包括陌生人、权势人士和那些我们觉得有吸引力的人。不过还有很多其他因素:举例来说,调入新工作、参加聚会和见到名人。(令人惊讶的是,他说,很多有时候感到害羞的人并不害怕公开演讲或表演,这在很大程度上是因为这类活动是经过编排和练习的。)



Funny, when I asked people what makes them temporarily shy, almost every straight man I talked to mentioned women: 'Loud parties, boisterouslaughter and beautiful women,' 'very tall girls who are very pretty,' 'Colombian women.' (The exception? My sportswriter friend, who said that meeting the New Yorker writer Roger Angell literally made him shake.)


有趣的是,当我问到是什么让人们突然变得害羞的时候,几乎所有我问过的异性恋男性都会提到女性:"吵闹的聚会、喧闹的笑声和美丽的女人","非常漂亮、而且个子很高挑的姑娘","哥伦比亚女人"。(例外?我的体育记者朋友说见到《纽约客》(New Yorker)作家罗杰•安杰尔(Roger Angell)让他颤抖。)



Yet few women said men brought out their shyness. Instead, women said that other women often left them tongue-tied. 'I get shy if I think people are much more attractive, well-dressed, thin, etc., than I am, and the combination is deadly,' said one female friend. (Other triggers for women? Parties, loudmouths, unexpected gifts.)


然而很少有女性说男性让她们感到害羞。相反,女人们说,其他女性常常让她们张口结舌。"如果她比我有魅力、穿着更好或者更瘦会让我变得害羞,这三者结合简直致命,"一名女性朋友表示。(女性害羞的其他诱因?聚会、高谈阔论和意外的礼物。)



What else makes us shy? For Cosgrove Norstadt, 46, it's talking to younger people, which can make him feel uncool. ('I express my excitement over my new cellphone only to find out that I am already outdated,' says the actor from San Francisco. For Leigh Shulman, 38, a social media consultant who lives in Salta, Argentina, it's running into other parents while dropping her 6-year-old off at school. ('The idea of being judged in my job doesn't bother me as much as being judged as being a bad parent,' she says.)


还有什么会让我们害羞呢?对于46岁的卡斯格拉夫•诺斯塔德(Cosgrove Norstadt)而言,和年轻人说话会让他感觉跟不上时代。("我对我的新手机表达出了兴奋之情,不过却发现我已经落伍了,"这位来自洛杉矶的演员表示。)对于居住在阿根廷萨尔塔的利•舒尔曼(Leigh Shulman)来说,在把她六岁的孩子送到学校时碰到其他父母让她感觉害羞。38岁的舒尔曼是名社会媒体顾问。("和被看作是不称职的父母相比,在工作中受到指责并不会让我感到那么的不安,"她说。)



And Arnold Schwarzenegger did it for Judy Sable. She met the California governor very briefly 20 years ago when he was an actor and she was trying on a ski jacket at a shop in her hometown of Fremont, Calif. 'A man's voice said, 'Thaaat looks raaally cool,'' says the 61-year-old retired human resources manager. 'I can still remember exactly what went through my mind: He's so big, he has orange spiky hair and he's married to a Kennedy. All I wanted was to get out of there before I said anything dumb.'


阿诺德•施瓦辛格(Arnold Schwarzenegger)也让朱迪•赛布尔(Judy Sable)感受到了羞馁。20年前,赛布尔在家乡加州弗里蒙特(Fremont)试穿一件滑雪服的时候,与现任美国加州州长、当时还是个演员的施瓦辛格有过短暂的碰面。"一个男人的声音说,'这衣服看起来真酷,'"赛布尔说。她现年61岁,退休前担任人力资源经理。"我还能清楚地记得我脑子里想些什么:他真是个大块头,他留着桔黄色的短直发,还娶了个肯尼迪家族的人。当时我心想在说出什么蠢话前赶快离开这个地方。"



So how should we cope with situational shyness? Well, I tend to react by babbling and sharing too much. Some people whip out their BlackBerries or iPhones and start reading or typing furiously. One friend sometimes excuses himself to use the restroom at cocktail parties, then flees without saying good-bye.


那么,我们该如何对付情境性害羞呢?我通常的反应是说个不停,有时候把不该说的话都说出来了。还有些人会马上拿出他们的黑莓(BlackBerry)或者是iPhone手机,然后开始狠命阅读或打字。一个朋友有时会在鸡尾酒会上借口去洗手间来免去道别的麻烦。



Alice Cunningham, who says she has a hard time approaching strangers at parties or work events, wears Italian leather shoes with famous works of art reproduced on them. 'I had a psychiatrist once who said shy people need great clothes so they can walk into a room and let the clothes do the talking at first,' says the 69-year-old, who owns a hot tub company in Seattle. 'My shoes act as a publicist and bring people to me. Then I am OK.'


爱丽丝•坎宁安(Alice Cunningham)表示,她害怕在聚会或者工作活动上接近陌生人。于是她穿着一双意大利皮鞋,上面印有著名艺术作品的图案。"一位心理学家曾告诉我说,害羞的人需要穿上很棒的衣服,这样一来他们刚走进房间的时候就可以让衣服来替人说话,"69岁的坎宁安说,她在西雅图拥有一家浴缸公司。"我的鞋子就相当于我的公关,它能把人们吸引过来。这样我感觉就好多了。"



Elizabeth Bernstein
  • nervous [´nə:vəs] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.神经的;神经过敏的 (初中英语单词)
  • pointed [´pɔintid] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.尖(锐)的;中肯的 (初中英语单词)
  • cabinet [´kæbinit] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.橱,柜;内阁 (初中英语单词)
  • talented [´tæləntid] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.天才的;能干的 (初中英语单词)
  • restaurant [´restərɔnt] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.饭店,菜馆 (初中英语单词)
  • partly [´pɑ:tli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.部分地;不完全地 (初中英语单词)
  • actually [´æktʃuəli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.事实上;实际上 (初中英语单词)
  • research [ri´sə:tʃ] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.&vi.调查;探究;研究 (初中英语单词)
  • institute [´institju:t] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.学院 vt.建立;设置 (初中英语单词)
  • everyone [´evriwʌn] 移动到这儿单词发声 pron.=everybody 每人 (初中英语单词)
  • personality [,pə:sə´næliti] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.人;个性;人品;人物 (初中英语单词)
  • unlike [,ʌn´laik] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.不同的 prep.不象... (初中英语单词)
  • additional [ə´diʃənəl] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.附加的,额外的 (初中英语单词)
  • attractive [ə´træktiv] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.有吸引力;诱人的 (初中英语单词)
  • acting [´æktiŋ] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.代理的 n.演戏 (初中英语单词)
  • laughter [´lɑ:ftə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.笑,笑声 (初中英语单词)
  • exception [ik´sepʃən] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.例外;反对,异议 (初中英语单词)
  • writer [´raitə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.作者;作家 (初中英语单词)
  • combination [,kɔmbi´neiʃən] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.结合;联合;团体 (初中英语单词)
  • female [´fi:meil] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.女(性)的 n.女人 (初中英语单词)
  • excitement [ik´saitmənt] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.兴奋;骚动;煽动 (初中英语单词)
  • running [´rʌniŋ] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.奔跑的;流动的 (初中英语单词)
  • bother [´bɔðə] 移动到这儿单词发声 v.打扰 n.麻烦(事) (初中英语单词)
  • california [,kæli´fɔ:njə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.加利福尼亚 (初中英语单词)
  • governor [´gʌvənə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.总督;州长 (初中英语单词)
  • briefly [´bri:fli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.简短地;简略地 (初中英语单词)
  • jacket [´dʒækit] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.茄克衫;外套 (初中英语单词)
  • manager [´mænidʒə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.经理;管理人;干事 (初中英语单词)
  • reading [´ri:diŋ] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.(阅)读;朗读;读物 (初中英语单词)
  • italian [i´tæliən] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.意大利 n.意大利人 (初中英语单词)
  • successfully [sək´sesfəli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.成功地 (高中英语单词)
  • determination [di,tə:mi´neiʃən] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.决心;决定 (高中英语单词)
  • temporary [´tempərəri] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.暂时的 n.临时工 (高中英语单词)
  • indiana [,indi´ænə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.印第安纳(州) (高中英语单词)
  • albany [´ɔ:lbəni] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.奥尔巴尼 (高中英语单词)
  • confident [´kɔnfidənt] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.有信心的,自信的 (高中英语单词)
  • literally [´litərəli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.逐字地;实际上 (高中英语单词)
  • unexpected [ʌniks´pektid] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.突然的;意外的 (高中英语单词)
  • furiously [´fjuəriəsli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.狂怒地;有力地 (高中英语单词)
  • cocktail [´kɔkteil] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.&a.鸡尾酒(的) (高中英语单词)
  • saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.言语;言论;格言 (高中英语单词)
  • colleague [´kɔli:g] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.同事,同僚 (英语四级单词)
  • unexpectedly [´ʌniks´pektidli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.意外地;突然地 (英语四级单词)
  • southeast [,sauθ´i:st] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.&a.东南(方) (英语四级单词)
  • withdrawn [wið´drɔ:n] 移动到这儿单词发声 withdraw过去分词 (英语四级单词)
  • temporarily [´tempərərili] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.暂时地 (英语四级单词)
  • argentina [,ɑ:dʒən´ti:nə] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.阿根廷 (英语四级单词)
  • trying [´traiiŋ] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.难堪的;费劲的 (英语四级单词)
  • speaking [´spi:kiŋ] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.说话 a.发言的 (英语六级单词)
  • impact [´impækt] 移动到这儿单词发声 n.影响,作用;冲击 (英语六级单词)
  • biological [,baiə´lɔdʒikəl] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.生物学(上)的 (英语六级单词)
  • preoccupied [pri´ɔkjupaid] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.被先占的;出神的 (英语六级单词)
  • socially [´səuʃəli] 移动到这儿单词发声 ad.社交上;社会上 (英语六级单词)
  • boisterous [´bɔistərəs] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.狂暴的;吵闹的 (英语六级单词)
  • retired [ri´taiəd] 移动到这儿单词发声 a.退休的;通职的 (英语六级单词)